


Four Trimesters

by paperback92



Series: It Is Not Flesh And Blood But The Heart Which Makes Us Father and Son [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Depressed Peter Parker, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Iron Dad, Parent Tony Stark, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony adopts Peter, spider son
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-05-13 11:06:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 34,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14747663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperback92/pseuds/paperback92
Summary: Tony Stark’s life was good. That kind of statement usually had ‘but’ tacked on. Not this time though. For once in his life, things were going smoothly.Things were good.That’s when the universe took note of his happiness, said “That’s enough of that”, and it all went to hell in a hand basket.





	1. Conception

Tony Stark’s life was good. 

That kind of statement usually had ‘but’ tacked on. Not this time though. For once in his life, things were going smoothly. 

Tony, Pepper, and Peter had settled into a routine as a family of three. Their days filled with regular family things like dinners, movie nights, squabbles about grades and unkempt rooms, the works. The Tony of ten years ago would have blanched at the idea of a life that was so domestic. The Tony of today wanted to add another kid into the mix.

He and Pepper had decided that keep that little development on the down low, especially when it came to Peter. There was no reason to get everyone worked up over something that might not even happen, they reason. Ignorance was better then disappointment. 

Also, Tony didn’t really want to tell Peter that ‘hey, Pepper and I are having tons of sex to try and make you a little brother or sister!’ He was sure that there were better ways to phrase it, but he was also sure that was still what Peter would get out of it. 

Peter was doing well in his still newish post May life. He had just started his senior year and had even added a few other extracurriculars, other than Spider-Man, into his schedule. One being a new girlfriend. 

Her name was Gwen Stacy. She ran the tower lobby’s coffee stand and was as feisty as they came. She was whip smart, didn’t take any crap, had already been accepted to almost every major college, and kept Peter on his toes. 

Tony had fallen in love with her instantly. 

It was obvious that her potential was being wasted at that of a dump they tried to pass off as a high school, so he set her up with an internship. A real one, not a superhero one, in SI’s budding bio engineering department after she mentioned during dinner one night that it was what she was going to major in.

Pepper said it skirted the line of nepotism and warned Tony that he couldn’t just throw opportunities like those at every one of Peter’s girlfriends. Tony reasoned that it was more snatching up undiscovered talent before Oscorp could get their grubby hands on them. Plus, with Gwen out of the coffee stand and in the lab, Peter’s caffeine intake had dramatically decreased; which benefited everyone. 

Things were good. That’s when the universe took note of his happiness, said “That’s enough of that”, and it all went to hell in a handbasket. 

One moment Tony was in the park with Pepper then the next he was being summoned to save the universe by a wizard and Bruce. And boy, seeing Bruce was like a punch in the gut. It brought back up the hot shame that simmered low in his belly ever since Ultron. 

Hearing the name Thanos sent chills up his spine. It made the hair on his body stand straight up. But the part of himself that he hated also couldn’t help the smug sense of satisfaction that crept up over being right. He knew it’d come to this. That it’d be the end game. Now he just had a name for it.

Tony couldn’t say that he was overly surprised by the aliens, but he’d admit that telekinetic Squidward and uglier gray Hulk wasn’t what he expected. The fact that Hulk refused to come out and play and the stupid wizard refused to be benched complicated things more then they had to; to the point he wasn’t not exactly sure what he was going to do as he stared down Ugly Gray Hulk and the hammer that came slamming down towards his face.

Then stopped suddenly.

Tony blinked up at the red and blue clad figure that he distinctly remembered telling that morning to not ditch his field trip. He’d never been so happy to be ignored. 

“Hey man!” Peter said to Ugly Hulk then turned to Tony. “What’s up, Tony?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be somewhere?”

Tony could practically hear the grin on Peter’s face. “Pretty sure they canceled the field trip.” 

It was a testament of how far Tony had come to trusting the abilities of his spider kid, that he barely flinched when Peter got tossed across the city like a chew toy. He came swinging back just like Tony knew he would. “What is this guy’s problem?’

“Uh, he’s here from space. He came to steal a necklace from a wizard.” 

What was easily the weirdest sentence Tony had ever uttered didn’t even faze Peter, bless him, and Tony tasked him with catching the wizard. It was going great until it wasn’t. Strange got snatched and Peter was stuck on the space donut. 

Peter’s panicked breaths echoed harshly through Tony’s helmet. He was up too high with no sign of stopping. Tony focused any extra power to his suit’s thrusters. He ordered FRIDAY to launch the Mark 17A and rushed towards the stars to save his kid. 

“You got to let go now, Pete. I’ll catch you, I promise.” 

“I can’t breathe.” Tony heard Peter choke around a gasp. “I can’t breathe.” 

Faster; Tony had to go faster. He blinked away the images of Pepper and Rhodey falling from the sky. Of the last time he flew this close to the stars. 

“That’s because you’re running out of air, buddy.” 

“Yeah, that makes sense.” Peter said weakly, then passed out. 

Tony tried to stifle his panic as he watched Peter fall from the space ship. His vitals, that were projected on the corner of Tony’s HUD, plummeted. Tony felt like he was running out of oxygen himself as the display counted down the seconds until Mark 17A collided with Peter and he was wrapped up in the metal safety of the Iron Spider suit. 

Tony nearly wept with relief when Peter took in a shuddering breath then another. He couldn’t help but grin while Peter geeked out over the suit then subsequently complained as Tony sent him home. 

Peter wasn’t happy, but Tony knew what he had to do and didn’t want Peter anywhere near it. If this was another one-way trip, if it stuck this time, Peter didn’t deserve an ending like that. Tony wanted him home with Pepper. 

Pepper also wasn’t happy that he was shipping off into space but there wasn’t much he could do about that but apologize. 

“Is Peter with you?” She asked, sounding almost as breathless as Peter had been earlier.

“No, I sent him home.” And, boy, Tony had screwed up so many times in his life that it felt good knowing he’d made the right decision for once. 

“Tony, come home right now. I need you to come home.”

“I’m sorry” was the last thing he was able to say before he lost the connection to both Pepper and FRIDAY. He was alone in the vast vacuum of space. He forced himself to shake off the chill that wrapped his bones. He needed to concentrate. 

Apparently, both evil aliens and humans shared the compulsion to monologue their grand plans. Tony crouched down and watched Squidward drone on. He didn’t seem to plan on wrapping it up any time soon. It bought Tony some time to plan. 

Strange’s magic cloak showing up was the least weird thing that had happened to him today and a small part of Tony found himself grateful for the company. 

“You are one loyal piece of outerwear.” 

“Speaking of loyal…”

Tony never had stroke before, so he wasn’t a hundred percent sure on what one felt like, but he could imagine that it wasn’t too far off from what he was feeling at that moment. Once he blinked away the red in his vision, he turned around to find Peter, who Tony was pretty sure he had sent home, hanging upside down.

“Before you say anything,”

“I don’t want to hear it.”

“I was going to go home,”

“Now I have to hear it.”

“But I got stuck to the side of the ship and this suit is crazy intuitive. So, if anything, it’s kind of your fault that I’m here.” 

Now Tony was sure that he was having a stroke. It must have shown on his face because Peter instantly started backtracking. It would have been funny if they were back at the tower and Peter had stuck his foot in his mouth once again, but they weren’t. They were steadily floating away from Earth on an alien spaceship, probably headed to certain death. The one place Tony did not want Peter to be.

“You can’t be a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man if there’s no neighborhood.” Peter said then paused. “Okay, that didn’t really make sense, but you know what I’m trying to say.”

The sad part was that Tony did know exactly what he was saying. And if the roles were reversed, Tony would have probably done the same thing. 

Tony sighed. What was done was done. Might as well put the kid to work.

“Alright, here’s the situation.” He put a hand on Peter’s shoulder and angled him towards the still talking, (Jesus, was he telling his whole life story?), Squidward and Strange. “What’s the plan?”

“Okay, um.” Peter bit his lip and Tony watched as his eyes darted around the scene, taking everything all in. 

Tony loved watching Peter work. When Peter put his mind towards something, his genius intellect really shone through. Tony could practically see a plan formulating in his mind and it only took Peter about thirty seconds to think up of a good one; it was a new record.

“Okay, so have you ever seen that really old movie, Alien?” 

Peter’s plan worked perfectly (of course it did, it was Peter’s plan) and Tony found himself toe to toe again with Strange. He fought the impulse to strangle the other man. He needed to play nice. This was no time to make enemies. They needed all the help they could get. 

“If it’s comes down between you or the kid and the time stone, I won’t hesitate to let either of you die.” 

And yeah, that didn’t help Tony’s ‘let’s make new friends resolve’ but he bit his tongue, hard enough to taste blood, hard enough to stop from telling Strange that he’d sell him to Satan for a corn chip to save his kid.

“A moral compass. I respect that.” 

Truthfully, he did. He understood where Strange was coming from. He still thought that they should have dropped the stupid rock in the garbage disposal when they had the chance but, again, what was done was done. There was more at stake then just him and Peter. There was half a universe to save. 

So, Tony nodded and knighted his kid as an official Avenger, because he deserved it and Tony knew it would make Peter happy. He pushed away the sick feeling churning in him at the sight of the kid’s proud face. Then he walked to the other side of the ship to try and out run the fear of failure that had been nipping at his heels since he walked into the Sanctum. 

It didn’t take Peter long to find him tucked away in a corner of the ship and join him on the floor. “Are you okay?” He asked, pressing his shoulder against Tony’s. 

“Yup.” He popped the ‘p’ just because he could and glanced over at Peter. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah.” The kid seemed tense, the joy of his knighting ceremony seemingly already gone. He fidgeted for a moment before heaving a breath. “Listen, I’m sorry for what I said earlier. About it being your fault, I was here. I didn’t- I didn’t mean- I don’t know why I said- “

“It’s okay, Pete.” Tony said and meant it. “We’re good.” 

Peter seemed to deflate with relief and leaned a bit more into Tony. Tony soaked up the affection greedily. He tried to think positively but the doubtful part of his mind screamed that this could be the last quiet moment he had with his kid; his son. 

“I want you to rest up before we get to Titan.” 

Peter’s face screwed up. “You want me to take a nap?”

“Actually, I was thinking along the lines of sitting quietly but a nap is a much better idea. I know you didn’t sleep well last night.”

“Neither did you!”

“You’re right. I’ll take one too.” 

Tony laughed at Peter’s pout and somehow the kid’s bottom lip poked out even further.

“Tony,” He whined. “Don’t make me take a nap in front of the wizard.”

“The wizard isn’t studying you. In fact, I’m pretty sure he’s trying to forget you’re even here.” 

Tony slid further down the wall and poked and prodded at Peter until he was laying down, head pillowed on Tony’s thigh.

“I need you rested up and focused, Pete. We’ll both need our heads in the game for this one.” 

Tony resolutely ignored the song that Peter sung under his breath and closed his eyes.

***

Tony wasn’t sure what he expected to find once they landed on Titan, but an alien crew run by some dumb kid from Missouri sure wasn’t it.

Tony did learn from the experience though. For example, he learned that he needed a better poker face when it came to Peter and his safety. In hindsight, pulling out the biggest gun he could make and screaming to blow off Quill’s guy’s head off may have been a bit of an extreme reaction to Peter being threatened.

In his defense, the whole situation was very stressful. 

It only got more stressful when it became very apparent that Quill’s whole crew was dumb.

Tony thought about every decision that’d he’d made in his life that lead to him having to listen to an alien telling them that they “kick names and take ass”. He felt, more then saw, Peter turn to him expecting some quip or dry comment and blinking in confusion when he got neither. 

But Tony was trying to be a team player, so he didn’t tell them just how stupid they all were and tried his best to herd them together to create a plan. 

Quill’s plan worked well until his grief got in the way. Tony couldn’t really blame the younger man though. It wasn’t so long ago that Tony found himself in the same situation. It was Tony’s fault that things got so out of hand. He should have got Quill out of there sooner. 

It was all downhill from there and ended with Tony covered in only half a suit, stabbed through like a kebab. Thanos sat him down on a rock and Tony’s skin crawled from the contact. The grape looking bastard kept talking to him, but all Tony wanted to do is look at his kid one last time. 

Dying was okay. In full disclosure, Tony had expected it to end like this. He had prepared himself. He locked eyes with Peter across the dusty land and gave him a small reassuring smile. Tony may die but Peter and the universe would be saved. 

It would be alright.

Then the damned wizard gave up the time stone for him. 

Tony sealed up his wound and didn’t bother to blink away the exhausted tears that pooled up in his eyes as he to turned to Strange. 

“Why would you do that?” 

“We’re in the end game now.” 

Tony started at Strange in disbelief, numb, as Peter rushed to his side and eased him gently to his feet. He stepped away and looked the kid over for his own injuries. Peter was banged up but seemed okay overall. 

Tony heard Quill somewhere in the distance. “Did we just lose?” 

Then it all went to hell in an even bigger handbasket then before. The alien with the antennas was the first to notice it.

“Something is happening.” 

Then she blew away. It was as simple and horrifying as that. One moment she was there, then Tony blinked, and she was ash blowing away in the wind. The tattooed alien and Quill followed before Tony could even process the first one. 

“Tony,” 

He snapped his head around to Strange, who looked sad and apologetic in a way that looked unnatural on him. 

“There was no other way.” 

Then Strange was gone too. 

Tony had just caught his breath when Peter spoke up and stole it away again. 

“Tony?”

Tony turned to face his kid and he knew down the marrow of his bones that something was wrong. Just Peter’s tone was all kinds of wrong, but his appearance was worse. He was pale and shaky. A thin sheet of sweat coated his forehead.

“I don’t feel so good.” 

“You’re alright.” Tony said instinctively.

It came out flat even though he meant to be reassuring. He’d read in a parenting book that when children were hurt, they often looked to their parents to see how they should react. If Mom and Dad are freaking out, then it must be bad, and they should freak out too. If the parents stay calm, then the kid usually would be too. 

Peter wasn’t just some kid though. He wasn’t stupid. They both saw what just had happened to the rest of their motley crew. 

Tony prayed that Peter was just sick or injured. He prayed that what was going on with Peter was something different and unrelated.

“I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t know what’s happening.” Peter was full on shaking now. He staggered towards Tony, unsteady and panicked. 

Tony shut down. His mouth no longer moved. Thousands of reassurances that he wanted, that he needed, to say to Peter ran through his mind, but he couldn’t get his vocal cords to work His limbs were heavy and frozen. Peter reached out to him, but Tony stayed rooted to the ground.

Peter stumbled and fell heavily into Tony and that’s when his system finally rebooted. He wrapped his arms around Peter and held on tight. Peter clutched at Tony, hands desperately trying to find purchase on the metal suit.

“I don’t wanna go. I don’t wanna go.” Peter sobbed, sounding every bit of the child that he really was. “Tony, please. I don’t wanna go.”

Peter’s legs suddenly gave out and Tony sagged under their combined weight. His own legs collapsed, his stab wound pulling back open, and they fell hard to the ground.

Peter blinked up at the sky once then found Tony’s face. Tony didn’t know what to say. He wanted to comfort Peter. He wanted to reassure him that it was alright. That Peter was just feeling sick. But his damn mouth still wouldn’t work. 

Tony put his hand on Peter’s chest, to ground Peter or himself, he wasn’t even sure at this point. Peter’s own hand weakly knocked into Tony’s arm. 

“I’m sorry.” Peter said, and Tony wanted to scream. He wanted to scream that Peter had nothing to apologize for. To pull himself together; that he was going to be okay. That he loved him.

But Peter was gone.

Peter blew through the wind just like the others and Tony desperately grabbed at the air, grabbing handfuls of the ash; of Peter. The ash, _Peter_ , stuck to his hands; Tony’s blood mixing with Peter’s remains. Tony choked and choked and choked on the air around him, bile coating his throat. He cradled his left hand and held it to his chest.

Then he knew nothing. 

When Tony came to, he was rocking back and forth and making a horrid gasping sound. He wasn’t sure how much time he’d lost. It was darker now, but ash still drifted around him. 

He heard footsteps behind him and startled, half expecting to find that Thanos had come to finish the job. Instead, it was the blue alien that had crashed her ship into the purple bastard. He didn’t know her name. Peter probably would remember. 

The thought sent a pain sharper then the stab wound in his side through his chest and he folded over with a groan of pain.

The woman silently watched Tony have another breakdown for several minutes before she spoke. 

“Stark.”

“Pardon?” Tony twisted back around to face her. 

She looked at him like he was simple. “That is your name, correct?”

He blinked at her. “Yeah.” 

She nodded once, focusing on something over his shoulder, then back at Tony. “What did the wizard mean? When he said that this was the only way?”

Tony turned away from her, anger suddenly boiling up inside of him. This was all Strange’s fault. If he had just done his job, then Peter wouldn’t have-Peter would still be-

He shook his head sharply, trying to clear his thoughts; trying to focus. “The hell if I know.” 

She looked at him for a moment longer. “We may be able to fix this but not here. We need to get off this planet.”

She turned heel and stalked across the dusty terrain. Tony had just enough sense left to realize that maybe he should follow her and scrambled up and after her. 

“Uh, not to be a smart ass or anything,” He said once he finally caught up with her. “but you kind of sort of rammed your ship into Grimace earlier.” 

“It should be here somewhere.” 

“What should be?”

She barely paused long enough to spare him a sidelong glance. “Quill’s ship.” 

“Oh.” It seemed like Tony’s mouth remembered how to work again. “I never did catch your name, by the way.”

“Nebula.” She said, then a bit softer, “I’m sorry about your son.” 

That shut him up again real quick. 

They found Quill’s ship not too long after that. Nebula said that it worked, and Tony took her at her word. It wasn’t until they were already out of the atmosphere and back into space that it occurred to him that he had no idea where they were going.

“Hey,” He said, bursting into the cockpit. “I need to go back to Earth.” 

“Why?” She asked not sounding like she actually cared. 

_Because it’s home and I need to go home_

“My team is there and all my stuff. We need backup. We need to make a plan. We need to fix this.”

_I need to get Peter back._

Nebula must not have had a better idea because she just nodded. 

“Earth it is then.”


	2. First Trimester

_This is Tony Stark from Earth. Does anyone copy?_

It took a week before they could get close enough to Earth to send out a transmission. It was still another three days before they got an answer and a day after that before they arrived back on the planet. 

Nebula had doubted that they would get a response, but Tony convinced her to send it out anyways. Tony personally felt the ‘from Earth’ was a bit overkill but Nebula had insisted. 

“The universe it bigger then you, Stark. Not everyone knows who you are.” 

Nebula had been an ideal traveling partner for this road trip from hell. She mostly kept to herself. When she did speak, it was short and to the point. There was no energy wasted on Tony’s part trying to figure out what she meant or what she was trying to say. If she had something to say, she said it. If not, she stayed quiet. 

It was as simple as that. And that was exactly the atmosphere that Tony needed right now. Simple. 

She didn’t comment on his daily anxiety attacks or multiple crying spells either; something else that he greatly appreciated. He already knew that he was losing it. He didn’t need anyone else commenting on it. 

The past week had been unbearable. Tony couldn’t eat. He couldn’t sleep. Peter’s broken sobs haunted his every waking moment. His cries played out in the back of Tony’s mind like some sort of twisted background music. He relived Peter’s last moments every time he closed his eyes.

Everything reminded Tony of Peter. It also didn’t help that the ship’s previous owner had also been named Peter. Tony literally saw his name everywhere. 

Nebula didn’t seem to care about his emotional state, but she was convinced that Tony would be dead before they reached Earth. And yeah, she was probably right.

His stab wound had opened back up on Titan and his suit was too malfunctioned to seal it back up again with the nano bots. It took about week for infection to set in. As luck would have it, it was a crazy sort of alien infection from hanging out in Titan’s decaying air and human ash.

Fun.

Nebula found a bare boned first aid kit that slowed the infection down some but not enough. He was still looking at four days before they reached Earth. Nebula said he’d be dead within three. He had laughed at her and told her that he could live off pure spite for years.

Tony started to doubt his math as he sat slumped in the cockpit. His fever had been steadily climbing over the past couple of days and had started pounding against his temples. He set the Zune that he’d been listening to aside with a sigh. 

Nebula had watched wordlessly when he had first found it, hidden away in a drawer. He’d laughed at the absurdity of finding of all things, a Zune, on an alien spaceship. Then he thought about how Peter would have gotten a kick out of the dinosaur tech and cried for an hour.

She really was the best. Tony appreciated her silent aloofness and made it a point to tell her that every day. 

Tony rubbed his temples and watched the stars. He still hated space, even more then before if that was possible, but he wasn’t too far gone to appreciate its beauty. 

The quiet, peacefully air that had settled in around them was suddenly disrupted by the harsh burst of static coming from the transmitter. 

"This is Steve Rogers. Tony, is that really you?" 

Tony nearly broke his neck vaulting over the seats to get the device. Tony didn’t think he’d ever been so happy to hear Steve’s voice. He nudged Nebula over to speak into it.

“Yeah, Steve. It’s me.” 

Another burst of static that almost sounded like a sob echoed through the speakers. "Tony, thank God. We thought you were dead. Where are you?"

“He is close to death.” Nebula pipped in, unhelpfully and Tony head Steve squawk in alarm.

"Who is that?" 

Tony shot her a look to shut it, but she merely shrugged. “That’s just my new alien friend. She’s driving me. We’re about a day out from Earth. Where are you?”

There was muffled conversation in the background. 

"Yeah, he’s okay. I’ve got him right now."

Then there was another harsh burst of static that made Tony wince before Steve came back. "We’re in Wakanda. I can give you the coordinates. Um, Thor’s here. So is Nat, and Bruce, and Rhodey. Pepper is here too.” 

Sharp relief filled Tony so quickly that his head buzzed, and his vision went dark for a few seconds. When he blinked back into himself, Nebula had taken control of the conversation.

“He has been stabbed and the wound is infected. He will need urgent medical attention when we arrive.” 

“Snitch.” Tony snatched the device out of Nebula’s hand with a glare that was matched with equal, if not more, fury. He gulped. If the infection didn’t kill him, there was a good chance she would.

“I’m fine, Steve. She’s exaggerating.” Tony said, but of course, his body was just as big of a snitch as Nebula was and took that opportunity to send a hot piercing pain through the whole left side of his body. He stifled a gasp the best he could and ignored the ‘I told you’ look he was getting from his chauffeur. 

“Tony,” Steve sounded worried. “You need to get back here as soon as you can.”

“We’re working on it.” Tony gritted out through clenched teeth as the pain took its sweet time to fizzle out. “Let me talk to Pepper.”

Steve hesitated, and Tony instantly panicked. “Is she okay? Where is she?”

“She’s fine, Tony. She’s perfect.” Steve finally said with a strange, wet sounding laugh. “She’s just resting. I can go get her if you want.” 

Tony shook his head even though Steve couldn’t see it. “No, it’s okay. Let her rest. Just, tell her I’m on my way, okay?”

“Of course.”

Tony swallowed down the sudden lump of anxiety that caught in his throat. “Level with me, Rogers.” He said. “How bad is it?”

Steve was silent for so long that Tony was afraid that they’d lost connection. When he finally spoke, it was in a wearily, almost defeated tone that Tony had never heard out of other man before.

“It’s pretty bad.” He continued quickly though, as if he could sense the sinking feeling that had rapidly settled in Tony’s gut. “We’re getting a plan together, though. Things will shape up a lot quicker once you get here. Tony, we can pull this off. We’ll get everyone back, together.”

He was so earnest about it, so confident, that Tony almost believed him. 

“Yeah, maybe.”

“We will.” There was a pause, pregnant and loaded. Somehow, Tony knew what was coming next. “Tony, Peter is with you, right? Pepper said he never came home. We figured he followed you. Is he okay?”

Tony didn’t answer. He didn’t have to. He knew that Steve knew that if Peter had been there, the kid would have interrupted the conversation at least ten times to babble on about how cool space was and their new alien friend.

After a moment, Steve cursed. “Tony, I’m so sorry. We’re going to get him back, I swear.”

Tony decided to believe him. For his own sanity, he had too. 

***

Rhodey and Steve were waiting for them, along with a small army of warrior women, when they landed in Wakanda. A young woman, who looked around Peter’s age, stood off to the side with what looked like hovering stretcher. Tony decided that there was no way he was getting on that thing.

Tony walked down the plank by himself, Nebula on his heels, and was hit by a strong wave of déjà vu. It brought him to his knees the second his feet hit the ground. Or it could have been the infection. 

Yeah, it had probably been the infection. 

It was like Afghanistan all over again. The second Tony’s legs gave out, Rhodey was there again catching him. Rhodey kept him from face planting, steadying him with two strong hands on Tony’s shoulders.

“So, how was the fun spaceship?”

A delirious laughed bubbled up out of Tony and he let himself pitch forward into the safety of his best friend’s arms. He pressed his face into Rhodey’s neck, letting himself take some comfort in the familiar embrace. A moment later, he felt another hand settle on his back.

“We need to get you inside, Tony.” Steve said.

Tony nodded but didn’t have any actual intentions of actually moving. Another voice that Tony didn’t recognize chimed in.

“The sooner we get him to my lab the better, Captain.” 

Steve didn’t say anything, but the next thing Tony knew, he was lifted into the air like some damsel in distress. The world spun around him. 

When everything righted itself, Tony found himself laying down on flat surface and was being pushed down a long hallway. He had a feeling that he was on the stretcher that he had been determined to avoid. 

He blinked up at the strange ceiling. He blinked again, and Pepper was looking down at him. She gave him a watery smile and held his hand, walking along side with him. 

“Everything is going to be okay, Tony.”

Tony gasped. “I’m sorry, Pep.” He gripped her hand tightly. “I told him to go home.” Pepper’s face twisted, and she started to shake her head. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Pep.”

“We need to keep him calm.” Someone said. He felt a prick in the crook of his arm. 

“We’ll talk later, Tony, I promise. Shuri is going to take good care of you.” Pepper said, lips turned up in a shaky smile.

Tony blinked, and Pepper’s face was replaced by the young woman from a few moments before. Somewhere in his foggy mind, Tony suddenly remembered Steve saying that T’Challa had a younger sister around Peter’s age named Shuri. This must have been her. 

Steve had said that she was a genius. He’d told Tony one day with that they needed to get her and Peter in a lab together. He had laughed and said that they’d either save the world one day or accidentally burn it down.

Tears unwillingly sprung to Tony’s eyes and leaked down his face. Shuri’s face softened for a half a second but then she gave him a cheeky smile. “Do not worry, Mr. Stark. Fixing broken white boys is one of my specialties.” 

Tony wanted to laugh but couldn’t before darkness crept up and dragged him under.

***

Tony woke up in a plush bed in an unfamiliar room. He made a mental note to find out where he could get a mattress like this, because it was seriously the best thing he’d ever laid on. He’d ask as soon as he figured out were exactly he was.

He remembered landing back on Earth but that was about it. He spied the IV that was snaked into the back of his hand. The room didn’t look like a hospital or med bay of any kind though. It was more like a guest bedroom. 

There was a desk in the corner. A door off to the side that Tony assumed lead to a bathroom. A recliner that held a sleeping Pepper. 

Tony did a double take to make sure that his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him. No, Pepper was really there curled up in the chair, fast asleep. He moved to sit on the side of the bed, ignoring the pull of his side and the way the IV line tugged at him. He was a second away from just yanking the stupid thing out when a soft hand stopped him.

“Tony don’t.” Pepper chastised softly. 

He blinked up at his fiancé, a beautiful sight that he thought he’d never see again, and lunged forward, wrapping his arms around her tightly. She hugged him back just as hard and buried a hand in his hair. She held him flush to her, so close he could hear her heart beating away. He didn’t realize that he was crying again until they pulled apart and saw the wet marks on her shirt. 

“Are you okay?” Tony sniffed, settling back against the headboard taking Pepper with him.

“Yeah.” She said quietly, resting her head on his chest. “Are you?”

His first impulse was to deflect, make a joke, and brush off her concern. He answered truthfully instead. “No.” 

“What happened up there, Tony?”

Tony started and stopped several times, debating between wanting to tell her everything, getting it all off his chest, and wanting to hold it all in because he knew that once he let it out, it became real. She loved Peter though, almost as much as Tony did. She deserved to know.

“I sent him home.” Tony started, as if not saying Peter’s name out loud would somehow ease the crushing weight that sat on top of him. “He said he got stuck to the side of the ship. By that time, it was too late to send him back.”

He took a breath to steady himself and cursed when it came out shaky. “He did well, really well. They all did, but we just weren’t enough. Strange gave up the time stone and next thing I know, everyone was disappearing.”

“Is that how Peter went?” Pepper’s voice was calm but the way her hand kept fisting into Tony’s shirt told him that she was just as shook up as he was. 

“Yeah.” 

Pepper nodded. She tilted her head up, looking Tony in the eyes; her own full of unshed tears. She was always the stronger of the two. Pepper could hold it together whereas Tony had just spent the last two weeks crying nonstop. 

“You’ll get him back, Tony. The others have a plan.” 

Tony shook his head. Pepper, the others, they had no idea what they were against. It’d take more than a plan and a plucky attitude to win this one. He started to tell her that, but Pepper talked over him. 

“You have to get him back.” She said, an edge of what sounded like determination and desperation creeping into her words. She took one of Tony’s hand and guided it to her stomach. “You’re going to win. You’re going to make it right, like you always do. You’re going to bring Peter back so that he can meet his little brother or sister.”

It took a moment for her words to make sense and when they did, it was a jolt to his system. He blinked and pulled Pepper up, so he could properly look her in the eyes. 

“What?”

“I’m pregnant, Tony” She smiled, happy and sad all mixed together.

Tony blinked again, his brain working hard to compute. “But, you said,”

“I didn’t know. I’m only five weeks along.” She sat up straighter. “I know the timing is the absolute worst and this is probably the last thing we need right now, and,”

“Pepper,” Tony stopped her and cursed to himself as he felt the now the all too familiar sensation of tears running down his face. He pulled her to him again and kissed her. 

“This is wonderful, Pep.” He told her when they broke apart. “Yeah, okay, the timing sucks but I’ll fix this, somehow. I’ll make it right.”

And for the first time since Titan, he believed it. Well, he believed that they had a chance at least. Not a big one, but Tony would still fight for it with all that he had. 

“How are you?” He asked, scrubbing tears from his face. If he kept this up, he’d have permeant tear tracks. “How’s the baby?” 

Pepper smiled, just as watery as Tony was. “We’re fine. Wakanda has very good maternity care.” 

Tony choked out a laugh. “How on earth did you even find out?”

“I started feeling sick. Rhodey insisted that I get checked out, just to be safe.” She shrugged. “The doctors did a scan and there it was.” 

“This is wild.” Tony breathed but quickly added. “But good.” He paused and stared at the ceiling, thinking of the baby dream that he had just weeks ago. That seemed like a lifetime ago now. “Peter is going to go crazy when we tell him. He’ll be so excited.” 

Pepper hummed in agreement and patted the hand that was wrapped around hers; positive reinforcement. “Steve will be happy too. He’s been waiting for us to procreate for years now.” 

Pepper laughed lightly, shifting in his arms. “Oh, he is. He’s practically been waiting on me hand and foot since I’ve found out.” 

“Wait,” Tony twisted around to get a good look at her. “Steve knows? You told Steve before you told me?”

“Tony,” Pepper raised an incredulous eyebrow at him. “Until yesterday we all thought you were dead. Steve found me puking my guts out one day. I was sick and depressed, so I told him.” 

“Alright, alright.” Tony conceded. “Just making sure we don’t have a Pearl Harbor situation on our hands.”

She pinched his hand; negative reinforcement. 

Later that night, when he was finally able to tune out the noise in his head and sort of ignored how he felt like there was a gaping hole in his chest, Tony dreamed. 

He dreamt of a beach with clear water and white clean sand. The waves lapped at his feet. He held Pepper’s hand and they both watched Peter stand ankle deep in the water in front of them. He protectively held a small body against his shoulder. 

The body wiggled in Peter’s grasp and peeked out from where it had had its face nuzzled into Peter’s neck. The baby blinked back at Tony and grinned in recognition. It squealed, and its wiggling intensified, until Peter finally chuckled and walked back to Tony and Pepper.

“Alright, alright. Calm down, I’m taking you to daddy.” 

Peter handed the baby over to Tony and, although he was pretty sure he’d never held a baby before, his arms moved on instinct. He took the baby and held him close. The baby blinked his round eyes, _Pepper’s eyes_ , up at him and popped his thumb in his mouth, sucking on it contently. 

Tony looked at Pepper who stood next to him, sun kissed and smiling. He looked at Peter, who was alive and whole. He looked at the baby in his arms, a creation of him and Pepper. Truly the best thing he’d ever made. 

Tony was happy. 

Tony woke up slowly, the happiness ebbing away along with the dream. He slipped out of the bed, careful to not wake Pepper, and got to work. He had a future to fight for. He had his kid to bring  
back.

***

The plan, if you wanted to be generous enough to call it that, was very simple. Like, stupidity simple. It consisted of just two steps: 

Step 1: Find Thanos 

Step 2: Kill Thanos 

There were so many problems with the plan that it made Tony’s head spin. But the team presented it with so much pride that the smart-ass comment died on Tony’s tongue. He had the impression that they were just proud that they weren’t all too stuck in the muck of their collective grief that they had been able to even think up of a plan. No matter how bare boned it was. 

So, Tony didn't rain on their parade, even when trying to think of where to start on finding the bastard gave him a migraine. Nebula said that she may have had an idea of where he was, and they worked from there. It was better than nothing. 

Three days later all they had was a kind of idea of Thanos might be and step two. They were in desperate need of reenforcements, but they were few and far between.

Natasha had collected Clint from the farm. His whole family had been taken and the archer was out for blood. 

The Hulk was still out of commission. Bruce was working on some weird therapy sessions to suss out the extent of the big guys issues. But, according to Bruce, the Hulk wouldn’t be a big help anyways. Apparently, Thanos has whopped the big guy pretty good.

Fury and Hill were both unreachable. Nat said that meant that they were dead or had been wiped out too. Either way, they were no help.

Clint had gotten in contact with Scott Lang and he was on his way. Tony wasn't exactly sure what he could offer but he was a much-needed extra body. Maybe Thanos could swallow him and they could tear him up from the inside out. 

Then one day, just as morale seemed to dip, a blond-haired woman fell out of the sky and onto Wakanda's torched backyard. She was met with an army, a Queen with some wicked blasters, and Avengers with too much pent-up aggression.

Before the shootout could happen, Clint pipped up. "Danvers? What the hell are you doing here?" 

The woman lit up, both literally and figuratively, her hands started to glow. "Barton! Long time no see." She grinned, and her sharp blue eyes scanned the crowd in front of her. "Where's Fury? I got an emergency transmission from him." 

Carol Danvers was from space. She was also half human. And half alien? She said something about being able to move planets, maybe.

Honestly, Tony didn't know and could have cared less what who or what she was. She was enhanced and seemed to be on their side. Plus, Clint vouched for her and that was good enough for him.

Better yet, she knew where Thanos was and the best way to kill him. She said she'd been to an alternate universe and saw how to kill him there. Or something like that. Truly, Tony wasn’t pay attention. He just wanted to get this show on the road, so he could get Peter back. 

The one thing that Tony did retain was that she called herself Captain Marvel. Because of course she did. So, the count of blond haired, blue eyed enhanced persons on their team that referred to themselves as Captain was now up to two. If anyone was keeping track.

***

One day after a team meeting, two of the Dora Milaje arrived and summoned Tony.

"Queen Shuri requests your presence in the lab." 

It sounded more like an order then a request, so Tony followed. He had been meaning to put in an official request to go to the lab for a couple of days anyways. The suit desperately needed repairs and he only had two weeks before the mission to fix it. 

Tony thought that they would stop at the first level where a few workbenches sat, overlooking the still scorched battlefield. He still wasn’t one hundred percent sure what had happened here. He could only get bits and pieces of information from people. Understandingly, no one seemed keen on talking about it.

The warriors led him further into the building, down stairs and past the glowing blue walls lined with symbols of a language he didn’t understand. They deposited him in a lab that looked much more lived in then the formal one upstairs. Tony glanced around appreciatively at the colorful art that decorated the walls. Music with a heavy bass thumped in the background.

This lab also had a much better view. Tony’s breath caught as he looked out into what must have been the vibranium mines that he’d heard so much about. He watched the trains speed by at a dizzying rate. 

"What do you think?" 

Tony started slightly at the young Queen's quiet arrival. She seemed to be holding up well enough. They hadn't spoken much other than some debating at team meetings. They were both busy; Shuri running the traumatized country that was thrust on her young shoulders and Tony trying to stay sane enough to be approved to go on the mission. 

"It's amazing." He said sincerely. 

Shuri beamed. It reminded him of Peter's pleased smiles any time Tony praised him. It made his chest ache. Tony turned away from the window, kneading a hand over his sternum as if he could rub away his grief. 

"What can I help you with, your majesty?" 

Shuri shot him a look. "I doubt there's anything you can help me with. I will, however, show you what I've helped you with." 

Tony followed her over to a work bench and watched as she picked up a slim sliver bracelet.

"I rebuilt your suit. You're welcome." She smirked. "These nanites will respond quicker to you. It is made of vibranium so it’s virtually indestructible. I also hacked into your data, it was too easy by the way, you need to fix that, and I programmed your AI into the new suit."

"Wow." Tony slipped on the bracelet. "How long did it take to do all this?"

"About three days." She shrugged then pulled her shoulders back defensively at Tony's shocked look. "What? I could have had it done sooner, but I've been busy lately if you haven't noticed." 

Tony held his hands up. "No, no. I'm impressed. Beyond impressed actually." 

Her eyes narrowed for a moment then she nodded once and turned back to the work station. She picked up another bracelet. It was painted red and blue. She handed it to Tony. He raised his eyebrow in question as he flipped it over only to find a spider emblem engraved on it. 

"That is your son's suit. He got all the same upgrades you did. I found the semantics for it in your database. You really need better security." She shrugged a shoulder. “If I have time, I may do it for you.” 

Tony found his back on his chest again trying to rub the pain away. "Thank you." 

Shuri nodded again. "You are welcome. When he is back, you must bring him to my labs. Captain Rogers said that he's almost as smart as you." She grinned teasingly at him. "I'd love schooling him like I schooled his father." 

Tony laughed softly and put Peter's bracelet on. His chest still felt like it was broken in half, but he could possibly ignore it for an hour or so. "Alright then, your highness. We’ve got some free time, teach me a thing or two." 

***

A month passed between Tony and Nebula landing on Earth and when it was decided that mission ‘Kill Thanos and Bring Back Half of the Universe’s Population’ was a go. 

Unfortunately, they didn’t have enough time to think of a snapper name. 

Carol led them to a lush planet that held a hill where Thanos was sitting in a small hut looking like he was living his best life. It was shockingly easy to take him by surprise. Tony honestly didn’t know if he had under estimated them so much that they took him by surprise or if he knew they were coming and just didn’t care.

Either way, it was much easier than expected for them to overtake him long enough for Thor to chop the bastard’s head off. Then Thor yanked the gauntlet off and tossed it away. 

The plan was for Thor, Cap, or Danvers to get the gauntlet. The thought being that an enhanced person could better handle any physical repercussions that could result from welding it. It was a good idea. One that Tony had vocally agreed with.

What ended up happening was Tony watching as the gauntlet hit the dirt then he is losing his ever-loving mind. He looked at it and listened as it called out to him. Then the next thing he knew, he is standing by it and slipping it onto his left hand. 

Tony's whole world was on fire. The power that course through his body was unreal. It was unlike anything he had ever felt. It made having a car battery in his chest feel like a tickle fight. It threatened to rip him in half. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think.

Then abruptly, suddenly, briefly, there was clarity. 

And just for a second, Tony could breath. He could hear the stones speak. They asked what he wanted to do. What did he wish for?

 _I want them back._ He told them. _I want them all back. I want my son back._

Then Tony burned again. 

When he could finally open his eyes again, he was afraid that he was back at the battle of New York. He blinked up at a filthy Cap and Thor staring down at him, a bright blue sky behind them. Steve was clean shaven and back to looking like an innocent piece of all American apple pie. Thor’s long hair blew in the slight breeze. Hulk roared somewhere off in the distance.

“Please tell me nobody kissed me.”

Tony blinked again, and the scene changed. Thor and Cap still stared down at him, but Thor’s flowing hair was missing. It migrated to Steve’s head and face. And Steve was red in the face, screaming down at Tony. 

It was a shame that his hearing decided to stop working because Steve seemed to be shouting some very creative and colorful curses. He would have really liked to hear them.

Tony’s eyes slipped shut. He could feel the ground shake underneath him from what he was sure was another roar from Hulk, who must have finally made an appearance. If Tony doing something stupid was all it took for the big guy to come out and play, then he would have done something idiotic weeks ago.

Hands touched him all over. They pressed against his chest, his face, and his arms. Which smarted, ouch. Especially his left arm. He hissed as someone prodded at it. It felt like it was going to fall off. He might have felt better if they just lopped it off. Pain pulsed throughout his body like a second heartbeat.

Sounds slowly began to filter back. Tony could hear Thor speaking to someone. Steve was still shouting. He didn’t sound remotely done throwing his hissy fit.

"Tony, you stupid, reckless, son of a-"

"We need to get him back to Earth.” 

“He's going into shock." 

Oh, that would explain why he was so cold suddenly. Tony felt himself starting to drift but a thought nagged at the back of his mind, insistent. 

_Where's Peter? Where's Peter? Where's Peter?_

"Did it work?" He hadn’t meant to shout but it stopped Steve’s tirade at least. "'S he back?" 

Thor frowned down at him. "Who, Stark?" 

Steve didn't need any more clarification though. "I don't know." He said, shaking his head and looking around. "I don't see any of them." 

The stab of pain Steve’s words caused Tony was felt worse than any physical pain he’d ever experienced. Including how he felt at that moment. Darkness started to creep back into vision and he didn’t fight it. He welcomed it. Unconsciousness or death, whatever was dragging him down, had to better then this pain.

Just before Tony was pulled under, he heard a sharp crackle of energy. He knew that sound. He mustered just enough energy to crack his eyes open once more.

Steven Strange smiled down at him.

"Good job, Tony."

***

Tony regained conscious just long enough to recognize Shuri looking down at him. 

“I knew you could do it, Stark.”

His mouth felt like it was packed with cotton. Like his tongue too thick for his mouth. Somehow, he managed to quip, “It was all the suit.” His voice sounded horrible. It was raw and hoarse like he’d been screaming for hours on end.

Shuri smiled briefly, her attention not on him anymore but something over his head. “You can thank me properly later. Now, would you like a metal arm like Barnes? Or something a bit more natural looking?”

He passed out before he could ask what exactly she meant. 

***

When Tony woke up properly he was quickly assured that he did not have to have a new arm. 

Shuri was a miracle worker. His left arm had been burnt to hell and back, but she had been able to save it. It had to be in a sling then cast for weeks, and he’d likely have permeant nerve damage, but it was the original and Tony was thankful that it was still attached.

Tony still couldn’t quite grasp what exactly they had been able to do. They’d won. They squared off against Thanos and defeated him. Killed him right on the spot. 

Tony had wielded all six of the infinity stones. Thor proudly told him that he was the first and only mortal to accomplish such a feat. He had controlled the stones and released half of the universe from the soul stone.

They were all back. 

Expect for Peter.

Tony watched from the sidelines as his team reunited with their fallen friends. He was happy to see them all, he really was. It just became harder plaster the increasingly wobbly smile on his face as the minutes went by and there was no Peter. 

His heart ached with every passing second. His eyes blurred with the effort of not blinking as he scanned the horizon, willing to see that mop of messy curls pop up and head his way. Finally, he squeezed Pepper’s hand and excused himself to their room to breakdown in private.

The majority came back within the first day but Strange told Tony that it may take some time for everyone to come back. “He’ll find his way back.” He had reassured with a sympathetic smile that made Tony sick to his stomach.

***

They stayed in Wakanda for another week before deciding that they had all wore out their welcome. At that point, they were just in the way of all the work that needed to done to get the country back on track. 

Tony also wanted to get Pepper home. So far, the pregnancy hadn’t been too hard on her. The worst complications were some morning sickness that didn’t restrict itself to the mornings. It was the stress that she had been constantly under for weeks that worried Tony. 

So, they said their goodbyes, Shuri made Tony promise to bring Peter around under threat on repossessing the suits, including the two extra ones that’d he somehow talked her into making, and they all went their separate ways.

The guardians and Nebula went back to space. Clint went back to the farm. Lang went back to wherever he came from. The rest decided to go back to the compound. 

Tony reassured them that they were welcome for however long they wanted or needed to stay. Although it seemed like there was an unspoken agreement that they were all staying put until Peter came back. It touched Tony more then he wanted to admit.

He made a detour to the Tower to pick up the bots before heading to the compound. He originally only intended to take BB. FRIDAY mentioned that the little bot was not taking Peter’s absence well and leaving him alone an empty tower didn’t sit well with Tony. But as soon as he had stepped foot in the lab, he was bombarded with the bots. So, Tony loaded them all up too because he was a sucker.

***

It took two days of solid procrastination to call Gwen Stacy. Peter’s phone log showed that she had blew up his phone the day they went to space and a couple days after. Then there was no activity from her until the day everyone started coming back. 

Gwen was a smart girl. Tony knew that she made the connections; that she’s figured out what happened. But he also knew that she deserved to hear it from Tony.

She answered on the first ring. “Tony, where’s Peter? Is he okay?”

Her steady tone threw Tony for a loop. Each time he had played the imaginary conversation in his head, she had been yelling or crying or both. Instead, she sounded ten times more composed then  
Tony had felt in the past month and a half. 

Tony cleared his throat. “Hey Gwen.” 

There was a pause on the other end of the line. “Hey Tony.” 

Tony cleared his throat again, unable to stop the nervous tick. He tried to pull himself together. “So, I assume you know what happened, kind of.”

“Kind of.” She hesitated. “I know about the aliens and that you went missing. Then Peter wasn’t picking up his phone, so I figured he was with you.” She took a breath. “Everyone is saying that half of Earth disappeared, Tony. What happened?”

“It’s complicated,” Tony sighed. “But, yeah, that’s the gist of it.”

Gwen was quiet for a moment. “Peter was one of them, wasn’t he?”

“Yeah.” Tony clenched his eyes shut. He hated this. He didn’t want to talk about this. “He’s, uh, he’s taking his sweet time coming back too.”

“He’ll be back though, right?” She asked and for an instant she sounded like the kid she really was. She and Peter bother were smarter then the average teen but they just that, teens. They were just kids. 

“Yeah,” Tony finally said. “He’s just dragging his feet.” 

“You’ll keep me updated, right?” 

“Of course.” Tony said and meant it. “Take care of yourself, kid.”

“You too, Tony.” 

The line went dead, and Tony allowed himself a couple of moments to breathe away the panic attack that had been threatening to creep up on him for that whole conversation. He waited until his hand stopped shaking before dialing Ned Leeds' number.

***

"I'm done with this when Peter gets back, by the way." Tony said to Steve two weeks later as they sat around a conference room table at the compound pouring over reports.

Steve blinked at Tony. "Huh?" 

Tony nudged the reports they were going over off to the side and buried his head in his hands. A headache had crept up his neck sometime over the past hour and threatened to settle in right behind his eyes. They’d spent the last two weeks going over hundreds of reports about case studies on people that had returned from the soul stone.

The whole situation had been a mess and a half. The world had been plunged into chaos when people started disappearing. There had been car and plane crashes from drivers and pilots disappearing. Surgeons disintegrated during surgery. Children were left without parents and vice versa. Animals left without their owners. 

The surviving half were traumatized beyond belief. Then the other traumatized half suddenly rejoined them. Most came back completely normal, but others had a little more trouble.

Some came back with missing memories. Most reappeared close or with their loved ones but there was those that came back in childhood homes or completely random places. One man came back with an extra toe. Everyone had some degree of PTSD.

Tony constantly worried what condition Peter would be in when he came back. It was almost all he thought about. It kept him up at night. 

"The Avengers, Iron Man, all of it.” Tony continued. “I'm done. I may hang around and pay for stuff but that’s it.”

Tony half expected for Steve to object or be disappointed but instead he nodded. "Yeah, me too." 

"Really?” Tony asked, surprised. “What about captain America?" 

"I talked to Sam about taking it up, but I think he thought I was joking." Steve shrugged. "If he doesn't do it, someone will." 

"What are you going to do?"

"I think Bucky and I will go back to Wakanda for a little while, if T’Challa will have us. Bucky misses his goats." 

Tony couldn’t help but laugh at the images that conjured up. "The Winter goat farmer. That's something I'd want to see." 

"It's unreal." Steve laughed too. "You'll have to come visit." 

“Sure.” Tony said and pulled another stack of papers to him. They worked again in silence for a few moments. 

"You'll wait till Peter gets back though, right?” Tony asked, suddenly feeling unsure of himself. “And after the wedding?" 

They had the wedding already planned. Every little detail had been handled. They were just waiting on Peter. They wouldn’t do anything until he was home.

"Of course." 

Tony glanced up and saw Steve’s smile. He returned one of his own. He then went to extend an invitation to Bucky’s goats, maybe even the position of ring bearer when FRIDAY interrupted.

"Boss, I have eyes on Peter." 

Tony was on his feet and heading towards the launch pad before he even fully realized that he was moving. He could hear Steve following a half step behind him 

"Where's he at? How is he looking?" 

The AI paused before she answered. "He is in his room at the tower. He is unconscious. My scans show that he has bruised ribs, a concussion, and some contusions, but nothing life threatening." 

Tony nodded. He tried to push down the way his stomach twisted anxiously. He was finally going to get his kid back. 

"I'm on my way." Tony went to activate the suit when Steve stopped him. 

"I'm coming with you. I'll drive." 

Tony shook his head. "That'll take too long. I'm going to take the suit." 

“Your arm is still in a cast, Tony.” Steve grabbed his good arm, stopping him. “You need backup." 

Tony ripped out of his grasp, angry. "Peter wouldn't hurt me." 

"Not on purpose." Steve fixed Tony with a look that was equal parts firm and sympathetic. "But he’s hurt, and he may be confused.”

Tony paused. Steve had a point. It hadn't been uncommon for people to come back scared and disoriented. If Peter woke up confused and accidentally used his full strength, things could get messy. Tony sighed. "Alright, but we’re not driving." 

“I’m not letting you carry me.” Steve said warily as he watched Tony take the extra bracelet that he’d taken to carrying around with him and put it on Steve’s wrist.

"Oh, don't worry." Tony said. "You'll hate this a lot more." 

Tony tapped the metal twice and Steve's surprised gasp was swallowed up by the suit of amour that encompassed his body. 

"Help him out, Fri." Tony ordered and didn’t stick around to hear Steve’s indignant yelp. By the time Steve fully processed that he was in an Iron Man suit, Tony was already miles out.

Tony flew faster then he'd ever had. He could feel his bones rattle. “FRIDAY, how's he looking?"

"He's beginning to wake up."

Tony cursed. He was only five minutes from the tower, but it seemed like hours. He pushed himself forward. 

"He's in emotional distress, boss. Should I tell him that you're on your way?" 

"Yeah." Tony said instinctively but then thought better of it. If there was something wrong with Peter, if he was confused, then hearing a disembodied voice might not help matters. "Wait, no. I'm almost there." 

He touched down on the Tower’s landing pad a moment later. He retracted the suit and was walking in just as FRIDAY spoke up again; this time barely audible. 

"Peter is experiencing sensory overload. Should I engage Protocol Lights Out?" 

Tony nodded, and the penthouse was instantly went dark. Muscle memory lead him to Peter’s room. He eased open the door. 

He didn’t see Peter at first but then a soft sound caught his attention as he stepped further into the room. Tony glanced up and his breath was knocked out of him when his eyes landed on Peter.

He was huddled in the highest corner of where the ceiling met the wall. From what Tony could make out in the darkness, Peter was banged up pretty good but alive and solid and that was all that mattered. They could fix the rest. 

Tony made his numb legs move slowly forward towards Peter, careful not to spook him. The kid looked panicked enough already as it was. His chest heaved. His eyes darted around the room, wild and fever bright. He wasn’t in the Iron Spider suit that he wore on Titan. Instead he was dressed in the tee shirt and jeans that he’d left for school in that morning. 

"Hey buddy." Tony whispered. He pitched his voice as low as it could go but even that was too much for the kid. Peter flinched. His eyes flickered around the room then narrowed as he caught sight of Tony. 

Tony smiled up at him, trying to project a sense of calm that he didn’t feel. "I'm going to find your headphones, okay?" 

Peter frowned but he didn’t say anything as he watched Tony look for the sound dampening headphones that he’d made for Peter months ago. He rummaged through the bedside table as quietly as he could before he moved on to the dresser. 

"Can you tell me your name, bud?" Tony needed to know exactly what kind of mental state Peter was in.

"Peter Parker." 

Peter’s voice was rough. It sounded painful for him to even speak. It was the best sound that Tony had ever heard in his life. 

"Good job, Pete." Tony said and discreetly wiped away the tear that had run down his face without his permission. "Who am I?" 

"Ben?" 

Tony ignored the sharp pain that shot across his chest. "Try again." He said lightly, pushing past a stack of boxers for the missing headphones. 

“Tony.” Peter answered more confidently.

Tony let out of sigh of relief before he could stop himself. “Bingo.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Steve walk into the room. “Okay, last one. Who is that handsome devil?”

Peter looked between the two men, frowning in concentration. “Steve.”

Steve smile softly up at him. “Hey, Pete.”

Tony finally found the headphones hidden behind a NASA tee shirt. He took them over to Peter and cursed the high ceilings. Either Peter would have to crawl down to them or they’d have to go up and get him. 

“Hey Pete, I’ve got your headphones. Think you can come get them?”

The request made Peter visibly cringe. His face was pinched in pain and he was shaking so badly, Tony was surprised he could still stick the wall. It took a few long agonizing minutes, but Peter finally started crawling down the wall to them. Tony awkwardly put them over Peter’s ears the instant he was close enough.

The relief was instantaneous. Peter’s face smoothed out and his eyes rolled back. With a sigh, he fell off the wall and right into Tony’s waiting embrace.

Tony stumbled back under Peter’s weight and fell hard on his behind on the floor. He quickly recovered though and maneuvered Peter in his lap. He searched for a pulse with shaky fingers and wilted in relief when it pounded underneath his fingers, weak and uneven, but there. 

There was a lot that needed to be done. He needed to call Pepper and let her know. They needed to get Peter back to the compound. They needed to get him medical attention. They needed to do scans and tests and blood work and about a million other things.

But for the moment, Tony just gathered Peter to his chest, unbelievably breathlessly happy and grateful. He pressed his face into Peter’s curls and wept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all,
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos and comments for the first chapter!
> 
> Just a word of warning, I probably won't be updating this story as quickly as I did Five Stages. Mostly because the chapters for this story will be longer and real life is kind of kicking my butt right now. I work full time and have a baby, so my free time is limited. I will finish it though, I promise! 
> 
> Thanks again for reading and any feedback! <3


	3. First Trimester (Remix)

Dying sucked. Like a lot more then what Peter had expected. 

In his defense, he’d never died before. Well, that wasn't a hundred percent true. His only point of reference was the time when he had accidentally electrocuted himself in the lab. He’d come to Tony’s semi hysterical face and defibrillator pads hovering over him. 

Tony had told him that even though technically his heart had stopped that they wouldn’t count it as dying since it didn’t take.

What happened on Titan was easily the worst, most painful experience in Peter’s life. He could still feel the pain, tracking up and down his spine. He could still feel his body breaking down, disintegrating into ash and blowing away. 

That hadn’t even been the worst part. It was a close second, but the worst was the pain that came from his body trying desperately to repair itself. His body had hit crisis mode and for every cell that tried dissolved, his healing had worked double time to stitch it back together, only for it to still fall apart a second later.

All that pain and suffering was for nothing.

***

When Peter came to, it wasn’t to Tony’s relieved face but to the sound of his own crying. Sobs ripped from his chest, leaving him breathless. He was crying much harder than he had been on Titan. 

Voices he couldn’t place surrounded him and Peter curled tighter into himself.

“I’ve found him!”

“Ah, man.”

“He is just a child.” 

A hand settled on Peter’s shoulder. “Pete. It’s alright, bud. Open your eyes for me.” 

That was a voice that Peter knew very well. 

“Bucky?” He opened his eyes to find Bucky kneeled in front of him. 

Bucky barely finished nodding before Peter threw himself into his arms. He held on tight, just in case he floated away again. The logical part of Peter’s brain told him it wouldn’t matter. Tony had held him too, but he still went. 

The irrational part told Peter to hold on tight and to not let go.

It only took a second before Bucky’s own arms wrapped back around Peter. 

“It’s okay, Peter.” Bucky murmured, close to his ear and Peter realized that he was crying again. He gipped the back on Bucky’s jacket and felt himself start to relax as Bucky’s flesh hand cupped the back of his head. The metal one slowly rubbed small circles in his back. 

When Peter finally settled, he pulled away. “Man am I glad to you see you.” He said, wiping his eyes with a chuckle. It was then that he noticed that they had an audience. 

Sam and Mr. Strange stood watching behind Bucky. There was another man with them that Peter didn’t recognize at first but then Peter got a good look at him and his suit. It dawned on him that he had just cried like a baby in front the Black Panther.

With a mortifying groan, Peter buried his head back into Bucky’s shoulder. Parker Luck even followed him into the afterlife. 

He embarrassed himself in front of Sam all the time. That wasn’t a big deal. But crying like a little kid in front of a real-life wizard and the freaking Black Panther? That was just too much.

As if sensing that Peter was close to death again, this time from extreme embarrassment, Bucky pulled him back, and swiped his thumbs across Peter’s cheeks; clearing away any evidence of tears. 

“Hey, don’t worry about it.” Bucky said, pulling them both to their feet. He kept a hand on Peter’s shoulder, anchoring him. “You should have seen Sam when I found him. Completely inconsolable. Got snot all over me.”

Sam shrugged good naturedly, playing along. “It was pretty bad.” 

The men quickly started strategizing. They didn’t include Peter, but for once, he didn’t mind being left out. He was way too tired to think of anything half way clever to contribute.

Bucky kept a hand by his elbow, but Peter drifted regardless. Peter glanced around and realized that it was the first good look he’d taken of the place. 

Everything was orange. Literally everything. The ground, the sky, even the air seemed to take on an identical orange glow. The ground underneath his feet rippled outwards like water, but it was solid and unmoving.

It also seemed strangely empty. As far as Peter could see, they were the only ones around for miles.

All in all, the afterlife looked a lot different then what Peter had expected. He tried to think back to the couple of times that May had dragged him and Ben to church when he little. This place looked nothing like what the Sunday school teacher had taught. 

This place didn’t feel like heaven. No one was happy. No one had wings or were flying around. Well, besides Sam but he did that when he was alive. And if God was here, he must have been hiding.

It didn’t feel like hell though either. There were no demons torturing them. No eternal flame licking at their feet.

Peter wondered if they were all stuck in purgatory. He couldn’t remember hearing or reading anything about what it looked like, just that you were there until the higher ups decided what to do with you. He did remember the dread that had creeped up in him at just thinking about it.

It was the same dread that dug its claws into his chest now. 

Peter didn’t realize that he was hyperventilating until Bucky tightened his grip. “Calm down, Pete. It’s alright.”

“We’re stuck here.” Peter pushed past the lump in his throat to choke out. “Oh my God, we’re here forever.” 

The dread expanded and filled his lungs. Black spots danced around the edges of his vision. White static filled his ears. He couldn’t breathe. 

Bucky lowered him to the ground and Peter bonelessly went with him. Bucky gently guided his head between his knees. After a few long moments, his hands still trembled but he didn’t feel like he was actively dying anymore. The white noise receded, and his hearing slowly came back. The sounds of conversation slowly filtered back. 

“We don’t have time for this.” Peter heard Mr. Strange snapped.

“Back off, Strange.” Bucky shot back.

There are others that we need to find. We can’t fret over one kid.” 

Peter felt Bucky tense up beside him. He clumsily reached out and his hand knocked against Bucky’s arm in a sorry attempt to calm him down. Before Bucky could reply, King T’Challa spoke.

“Give the boy a moment. He has been through much. We all have.”

Strange huffed but stayed silent. 

Peter felt someone kneeling beside him and cracked his eyes open to find Sam smiling kindly at him. “Hey, kid. You feel better?”

“A little.” 

“Good man.” Sam patted his back and started to stand back up. “Just take a breather.”

Peter watched as he walked away to join Mr. Strange and King T’Challa while Bucky stayed by Peter’s side, slowly rubbing circles into his back. 

Peter’s thoughts wondered as they sat. He wondered how Tony and Pepper were doing. He knew that Tony had been able to seal his stab wound on Titan, but he didn’t have super healing like Peter. What if he was still stuck on Titan? And Pepper, did she make it or was she stuck here too?

Then Peter had a thought. It was a crazy one but what about his current situation, heck his life, wasn’t crazy. It was worth a shot.

Bucky was quietly talking to King T’Challa when Peter tugged on his sleeve to get his attention. Bucky paused and glanced down at him. “What’s up, bug?”

“May and Ben.” 

“Huh?” Bucky’s brow crinkled in confusion.

“May and Ben. Maybe they’re here too.’ Peter tried to explain, and Bucky’s eyes lit with understanding.

“What is the matter?” T’Challa asked, kneeling by the pair.

Bucky sighed and gently pried Peter’s hand from his coat. He adjusted his hold so that Peter was tucked underneath his arm. “His aunt and uncle. They died.”

“My condolences.”

Peter turned back towards Bucky. “Can we go look for them?”

“Peter,” Bucky started but Peter interrupted him.

“We need to look for Pepper too.”

“We already looked for her. She’s not here. But, Peter-”

Peter felt a rush of relief. He didn’t like the thought of Pepper being trapped here. 

“We can start looking for May and Ben then.”

“Peter.” Bucky said forcefully enough that finally stopped Peter. “Peter,” He said softer this time. “They aren’t here.”

Peter felt like the bottom of stomach fell out. “What?”

“We’re not actually dead. It’s different.” 

Peter’s stomach recovered, and it filled up with irritation. “Well, it sure felt like I was dying. So, if we’re not dead then what’s going on?”

“I ain’t explaining it right.” Bucky shook his head, frustration bleeding into his words. “Strange,” He called out to the man. “Come tell Pete what you told us.”

Mr. Strange glanced at them then walked over. His gaze had softened in the past few minutes, but Peter still felt himself bristle at the way he loomed over them. Something crossed the older man’s face then he crouched in front of Bucky and Peter.

“For all accounts and purposes, we are dead.” He said, his tone as serious as it was on Titan. “Thanos has captured our souls in the Soul Stone.”

Peter blinked. “Of course, we are. So, like I said, we’re stuck here forever.” 

“Perhaps not.” The wizard said mysteriously. 

Bucky perked up beside Peter. “You didn’t mention anything about getting out. You wanna share with the class, Strange?”

“That’s where your father comes into play.” Strange said, keeping his focus on Peter. “If everything goes to plan, then he and the remaining Avengers will safe us.” 

“You have a plan?” Sam asked, joining the conversation.

Strange nodded. “I saw millions of possible future outcomes and I set us down the path of the one that we would win.” 

Peter couldn’t help his full-bodied twitch. “You mean the one where you gave away an infinity stone, let Thanos win, and left Tony stabbed and left for dead on some dusty planet?” 

Strange’s eyebrow steadily lifted throughout Peter’s rant and by the time he was finished, Peter was shouting and Strange’s brow was nearly to his hair line. Bucky rubbed Peter’s arm in an attempt to calm him. 

“Yes.” Mr. Strange said.

“And our only chance on getting out is Tony somehow following a plan you never told him about.”

“Yes.”

Peter blinked then blinked again. He was pretty sure that some part of his brain was fired. 

“Cool.” Peter said. Then he got up and walked away. He got a good bit away before Bucky caught up with him.

“Peter, wait.” Bucky caught his arm once he was close enough.

“You know the one good thing about dying?” Peter snapped, and steam rolled ahead at Bucky’s blank expression. “You get to be reunited with your loved ones. I should be with May and Ben and my parents right now. But I’m stuck in an orange cream sickle, hoping and praying that Tony will somehow instinctively know how to fix this and does exactly what Strange saw him do. Plus, the future is always flexible so there’s that to worry about.” 

Peter was out of breath from either talking too fast or the anxiety that rose in his chest and threatened to smother him. Maybe both, he wasn’t sure. Bucky silently searched his face for a moment before rubbing Peter’s arms again.

“Yeah bug, it’s a mess.”

***

Bucky and Peter eventually broke off from the group. It wasn’t anything personal. Peter wasn’t in the most sociable of moods to begin with and seeing King T’Challa reunite with his mother and Sam with his sister had pushed him over the edge. 

Neither of them had anyone to look for and Bucky was determined to not let Peter out of his sights, so they wandered their orange prison together. 

The glow gave Peter a headache and made him lean more towards the opinion that Mr. Strange was wrong and that they really were in hell. 

The whole place in general confused Peter. There was no way to tell time. There was no sunrise or sunset. Just orange all the time. When Peter ever got home, if he ever got home, if he ever saw that color again it’d be too soon. 

The layout was weird too. People were spread out with no rhyme or reason. And for a place that supposedly held half of the universe, it could be strangely empty.

Sometimes they’d walk for miles and not see anyone. Then they would happen upon random people, all needing some kind of assistance. 

Peter lost count of how many children they reunited with parents or other family members. Some kids recognized Spider-Man. Others were just happy to see a friendly helping face. All of them loved it when Peter did back flips.

Peter would gather the kids into his arms and walk until they found someone that kids knew. Typically, that person was never far off. Most randomly materialized right in front of them, as if summoned, nearly giving Peter an aneurysm every time.

As a rule, Bucky seemed unbothered by all the weirdness. He claimed that he’d seen stranger things. He did not appreciate Peter’s joke, _Uh, yeah, Bucky, everyone’s seen Stranger Things._ and he quickly put an end to Peter’s lecture about physics and how people just don’t pop up places because their kids cry for them. 

“None of this makes any damn sense, Peter. Not worry so much about it.” 

The only thing that brought Peter any measure of comfort was knowing that he could still help in some way. Even in this hellscape, Spider-Man could still out for the little guy.

***

They found Happy with a group of Stark Industries workers. The older man’s face twisted happily when he caught sight of Peter and he crushed him into a hug which, Peter was pretty sure, directly went against his no touching policy.

Happy pulled back and held Peter at arm’s length, examining him. “Ah, kid. I was hoping I wouldn’t see you here. How are you? Have you seen Tony or Pepper?”

Peter looked down at the ground, avoiding Happy’s searching look. “I haven’t seen them. I don’t think they were taken.”

Happy tipped Peter’s chin up, making him look up at him. “You didn’t answer my other question.” He said gruffly. “How are you?”

Peter shrugged. “I’m okay, considering.”

“Yeah, considering.” Happy sighed. “What on earth happened up there, kid? One minute you and Tony went missing then next everyone turning into dust.”

Peter flinched. “The bad guy won.”

Peter didn’t even want to say that name out loud. Just thinking about what happened on Titan made him sick to his stomach. 

“We went to his home planet and we tried to stop him, but we couldn’t. He sent half of the universe here.” 

Happy smiled sadly at him. “I know you guys did your best.” He wrapped an arm around Peter’s shoulders and brought him into another half hug. “Don’t worry about it. Tony will fix it.”

Peter shrugged underneath Happy. “Hopefully.”

“He will.” Happy said confidently before one of the women with him hesitantly cleared her throat behind Happy. “Uh, Mr. Hogan?”

“Oh yeah, right, sorry.” Happy told the her. “We’ll go in just a second.” He turned back to Peter. “I promised that I’d help them find their families.” 

His watchful eyes cut to Bucky then back to Peter. “You good?”

Peter nodded. “I’m good.”

“You sure?”

Peter chuckled a little at Happy’s over protectiveness. “Yeah, I’m sure. Go, we’ll catch up later.”

Happy gave Peter’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Take care of yourself, kid.” Then he pointed at Bucky. “Keep an eye on him.”

Bucky nodded as if he hadn’t been watching him like a hawk until now. “Always.” 

Happy nodded, seemingly satisfied, and Peter watched him lead his group deeper into the orange nothingness.

***

They ran into the aliens that fought with them on Titan and hung out with them for a little while. The three on Titan were joined by a talking tree named Groot, who was officially the coolest person that Peter had ever met, and a green skinned woman who was Star-Lord’s girlfriend, Gamora.

Peter could see why Star-Lord was so upset in losing her. Just in the short time that they stayed with the Guardians, she easily took Peter under her wing, alongside Groot.

Peter was almost disappointed when he and Bucky moved on. He decided that the Guardians weren’t nearly as annoying in general as they were in life and death situations. He made a mental note to tell Tony that if he ever saw him again.

***

After they left the Guardians, Peter remembered that he had a girlfriend and best friend. They looked for Gwen and Ned while Peter beat himself up for not thinking of looking for them sooner. They weren’t there but Peter still stewed in his own guilt until he spotted a head of familiar messy curls and another with doubled popped collars.

“MJ? Flash?” 

Both teenagers whirled around and after a stunned beat, MJ practically ran to meet him. Without thinking, Peter swept her up into a hug. In real life, they were definitely not there, as Tony would say, but this was different. This place made everything different, and she must have felt the same because she returned the hug without hesitation.

When they separated, MJ punched his shoulder lightly. “It’s good to see you, loser.”

Peter grinned brightly. “Yeah, you too.” 

Peter looked over MJ’s shoulder at Flash. He never in a million years thought he’d see the day where he’d be happy to see Flash Thompson. 

“Hey, man!” Peter greeted but Flash only stared at him, jaw dropped open. He just kept standing there staring. Peter turned to MJ and Bucky who both shrugged cluelessly.

“You okay?” Peter tried again, and Flash finally sputtered back to life. 

“Parker?” He questioned, sounding strangled. 

“Uh, yeah?” Peter’s brow furrowed.

“Parker?” Flash asked again, a tad hysterical.

“Dude, what is your problem?” MJ snapped as Flash pointed at Peter’s chest.

“Spider-Man??”

Peter blinked hard as the realization of what exactly was happening crashed into him like a pile of bricks. He felt the blood drain from his face. 

He was still in his Spider-Man suit.

It wasn’t his classic red and blue, but the spider ensign was still displayed proudly across his chest, undoubtedly declaring to the world that he was the one and only friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

“This isn’t what it looks like.” Peter panicked and lied. He let the suit dissolve back into its red and gold case. 

Instead of fixing the problem, Flash’s eyes bugged out even more. Behind him, Bucky let out a long suffering sigh.

“Jesus.” He muttered at the same time MJ said, “You’ve got to be kidding me, Parker.”

“What,” Peter started before looking back down and saw his old suit mocking him. “Ah, man.” 

He slammed the spider symbol and the suit deflated, finally leaving him in jeans and tee shirt. He shoved the suit under his shirt and then, once it was securely tucked away, he let himself hit panic  
mode.

“Flash,” Peter pleaded, almost desperately. “You can’t tell anyone.”

“I can’t believe it.” Flash sounded dazed.

“Flash,” Peter pressed. “I’m serious. You can’t tell a soul.”

“It all makes sense.” Flash shook his head. “The flakiness, DC, Tony flipping Stark adopting you.” 

Peter started feeling a bit hysterical now too. He gripped Flash’s shoulders and shook him a little with each word. “Flash. Do. Not. Tell. Anyone.”

Flash finally snapped out of his stupor and brushed away Peter’s hands. “Don’t worry, Peter, I won’t tell. It’s not like anyone would believe me anyways.” 

“Thank you.” Peter sighed a breath of relief. He was too relieved to acknowledge the insult. He turned to MJ who, overall, looked very unimpressed with the revelation. “You don’t seem surprised.”

“I’ve known since sophomore year.” MJ shrugged. “You and Ned talk really loud.”

Bucky swore again.

***

After Flash finally calmed down, he was surprisingly bearable to be around. 

He didn’t act like the pompous dick he usually was at school. He just sat with Peter and MJ and asked a million and one questions about Spider-Man, which Peter found himself answering because well, why not? 

The longer they in the stone, the heavier the sinking feeling of defeat in Peter’s gut became. He couldn’t tell how long they’d been stuck there, but it seemed to cross some imaginary line in Peter’s mind. The point of no return. At some point, he’d accepted the very real possibility that there was no getting out.

While staring down an eternity of being around him, it became easy for Peter to forgive Flash for all the years harassment he’d put him through. It just didn’t seem to matter anymore.

So, Flash acted like a civilized person and politely asked question and Peter answered them. Besides, who was Flash going to tell about Spider-Man here anyways. It’s not like Peter hadn’t already showed his face to countless of random people anyways.

For the most part, Bucky kept his distance from the trio of teenagers. Occasionally, he’d sit with them or make them sleep but he mostly kept his eye on Peter from afar. Peter figured that he just didn’t want to hear Flash babbler on about Spider-Man. 

Apparently, he was a big fan. Go figure.

After Flash got done fangirling, the conversation turned to other more typical teenage topics. School, college, prom, how much parents suck, etc., etc. For obvious reasons, Peter had trouble  
contributing to that last one, but he was able to recant some of Tony’s annoying habits. Flash got a kick out of that.

Eventually, he let out a sigh. “I can’t believe I died a virgin.”

“I can.” MJ snorted.

Flash glared at her. “Yeah, okay, laugh it up Jones. I doubt you did any better. I bet you never even saw any kind of action.”

“I was too busy.” She said, seemingly unbothered. “Some of us were actually concerned about getting into a good collage and making change.” 

“Really?” Peter blurted out and kept talking before his brain could hit the override button. “So, like, you’ve never even kissed before?

“Nope.” MJ popped, leaning back, settling her weight on the palms of her hand and examining Peter. “Guess I never found the right person.”

Peter’s cheek grew warm under her gaze and he glanced away.

“How about you, Parker?” Flash questioned. “Ever been kissed? Punched that V card, yet?”

“I have a girlfriend.” He retorted, narrowing his eyes at Flash. 

“That doesn’t mean anything.” Flash waved his words away. “Answer the question.”

Peter foolishly looked to MJ for help, but she acted like she was waiting for an answer too. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Uh, yes to kissed. No to the other.”

Flash seemed to sit on that piece of information for a moment before glancing between Peter and MJ. Then his face broke out into a wolfish grin. Peter knew from experience that nothing good ever came from that face.

“Say,” Flash drawled. “I have an idea. Let’s play truth or dare.” Flash clapped his hands together. “I’ll go first. Parker, I dare you to kiss Jones.”

Peter rolled his eyes so hard he thought they’d pop right out of his head. “Grow up, Flash.” He turned, fully expecting to already see MJ already beating the snot out of Flash but instead she was watching Peter with a strange look on her face. 

Her eyes dropped down to his lips. Peter panicked. Flash looked elated.

“Uh,” Peter stammered. “MJ?”

She blinked slowly, eyes never leaving Peter’s, and shrugged. “I’m game. “

“Seriously?”

“What?” She snapped at Peter’s best fish out of water impression. “There’s nothing else to do here. We might as well have some fun.”

A lot of things ran through Peter’s head. 

First; Bucky was sitting less than ten feet away, more than likely had heard every word they’d said, and now knew that Peter was a virgin.

Second; Peter knew that acting on any kind of dare from Flash would not end well. 

Third; Peter had a girlfriend. A smart, beautiful, way out of his league girlfriend.

Fourth; MJ looked really pretty sitting underneath the soft orange light.

Peter had always thought MJ was cute, in a 90’s grunge kind of way. And he would have been lying if the thought of kissing her hadn’t crossed his mind once or twice since he’d known her. He had just assumed that it had never been an option. He figured that she would have killed him for even thinking about it.

By the time that they’d become friends and she’d let him get past her aloof, standoffish walls, Peter had started dating Gwen.

That was then though. That was before they got trapped in a stone probably forever. That was before Peter knew that he’d never see Gwen again. 

Death was supposed to break all bonds.

So, if he wanted to kiss MJ, what was stopping him?

“Alright.” Peter murmured and inched closer to MJ. 

MJ met him halfway and they just stared at each other for a moment. She had her hair down and her unruly curls framed her face. Her dark eyes seemed to stare right into his soul, like she could see every thought Peter had ever had. 

Her eyes flickered back down his lips, so Peter put them to good use.

It didn’t take long for present Peter to want to strangle past Peter for never kissing MJ before. 

For someone who had never done this kissing thing before, she was pretty dang good at it. Her lips were unbelievably soft and so was the hand that held the side of his face.

Peter didn’t intend for the kiss to escalate, but once her tongue flickered against his mouth, everything simple and chaste flew out the window. In no time at all, their tongues were down each other’s throats and they were pawing at each other like they were touch starved.

Peter distantly heard Flash cheering them on and Bucky choking.

“Damn son!” 

“Jesus. Come on, guys.”

Peter didn’t know much time had past, but it was after MJ’s fingers got caught in a tangle of his curls, that his Spidey senses started going ballistic. Sharp stabbing pain started at the nape of his neck and traveled down, lighting up his entire spine.

Peter roughly pulled away from MJ with a pained shout and Bucky was at his side in an instant.

“Peter? What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know.” Peter gasped. He looked around for any signs of danger, panting and confused, but nothing seemed out of place. Still, alarm bells rang loudly in his head. The pain flared up again, but before Peter could catch his breath, Flash spoke up hesitatingly.

“Parker?”

Peter turned just in time to see the hand that Flash was extending towards him turn into ash and blow away. The rest of his body quickly followed.

Oh, God. Peter felt sick. It was Titan all over again. Peter had to stop himself from folding over. He couldn’t breathe. 

Bucky gripped his shoulders tightly as MJ’s body dissolved just as quickly as Flash’s had. She crumbled onto the ground with only a soft “Peter” on her lips.

Peter felt himself start to hyperventilate. He blindly reached back to grab Bucky’s hand, only to be met with a handful of ash. He gasped over and over again and desperately tried to rub the ash off his  
hands. 

His vision suddenly tilted. Black dots swam in front of him, and Peter let himself fall into the darkness.

***

Peter wasn’t sure what he’d done in some other life to deserve his rotten luck.

As soon as he was able to scrape himself off the ground, Peter looked for others like he and Bucky had before but there was no one. They were all gone.

Expect for him.

Peter decided to take a nap. He couldn’t think of anything else to do, and he was obviously trapped here forever all by himself. So, he found himself a nice patch of orange ground, plopped down and took a nice long depression nap.

He lost count of how many depression naps went by before he saw them.

It reminded Peter of those movies where the tired, dehydrated hero, lost in the dessert, gazes into the horizon and starts to hallucinate. 

Even far out and blurry, Peter knew them. He knew her small frame almost as well he knew his own. Even though it had been years since he’d seen him, Peer also knew the taller, broad shouldered figure that walked alongside her.

Peter held his breath as they neared, becoming clearer with every step. His eyes filled with tears. They looked exactly the same as he remembered them. 

May’s dark hair hung down past her shoulders. Her kind brown eyes were framed by her wiry glasses. Her smile was still warm and bright.

Ben’s eyes were still that blinding shade of blue that everyone he met commented on. He wore the flannel shirt that was hanging up in Peter’s closet. The same one that Peter had wore to bed for months straight after he died, even after the scent wore off. 

Years’ worth of regret and unsaid things rushed to the surface as the pair reached him. It pushed his unshed tears over the edge and down his face. They both kneeled in front of him.

“Hey, Pete.” Ben said, as May gently tucked a curl behind Peter’s ear.

Peter clenched his eyes shut. This wasn’t happening. It was impossible. Mr. Strange had said this wasn’t heaven or hell or wherever dead people went. 

He flinched but kept his eyes closed when Ben laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

“What’s wrong, son?”

“You’re not real.” Peter gritted out. 

They had to go. He didn’t think he could take this. He couldn’t take another heartbreak. He couldn’t lose them again. 

“No.” May agreed, softly. “Do you want us to go?” 

Peter paused. The thought of being alone for forever hurt almost as the truth of May and Ben not being real. But, what was the harm of letting them stay around? 

They may have not been real, but they were better than nothing.

“Stay.” Peter whispered, as if he was afraid if he spoke too loudly then they would disappear forever. “Please stay.”

They wordlessly gathered Peter into their arms and he melted into their embrace.

***

Once Peter ignored the voice in his head that kept telling him that fully engaging with hallucinations was not a good idea and crossed into crazy town territory, he found that May and Ben were just as good company here as they were in real life.

The three of them talked and laughed together for hours. It was just like old times. It was great until the orange atmosphere crept up on the edges of Peter’s vision again and he sobered.

“What’s wrong?” Ben asked, and Peter just shrugged.

May got that all knowing crease in-between her eyes. It was uncanny how well Peter could re-imagine that look. Lord knew, he’d been on the receiving end of it too many times to count when she was alive.

“Peter, if this place bothers you, change it.” 

Peter frowned at her. “How?”

May moved until she was sitting crossed legged in front of Peter. She took his hands and held them in her lap. It reminded Peter of the yoga phase she went through a few years back. 

“Close your eyes.” She instructed, and Peter did. “Now, think of a place that makes you feel safe.”

Peter thought of their old apartment. Their tiny home in Queens back when things were simple. 

Back before he walked in to find Tony Stark sitting on his couch. Back before he was bit by that spider. Back when he was just Peter Parker. Back when he didn’t have parents, but he did have May and Ben and that was enough.

Peter opened his eyes and found himself sitting on their old living room floor in Queens, May and Ben smiling across from him.

“See?” May said, with a tinkle in her eye. “Easy peasy.” 

***

Peter knew he missed Tony and Pepper but didn’t know how until he dreamed about them.

He dreamed of the weekend the three of them sat on the couch and marathoned the Star Wars movies. They had ended up eating too much pizza and got sick of it. They couldn’t even think about pizza after that for a month.

Peter woke up in his old bed, crying. 

“What’s wrong, hun?” May was by his side, gently wiping away his rapidly falling tears. Peter couldn’t help but lean into touch. It felt so real. 

“I miss Tony and Pepper.” He sniffled, like some little kid. He’d never been homesick for Tony and Pepper before. He’d never been away from them long enough since Tony adopted him to even have  
the chance to get homesick. 

It was ironic. Those first months with Tony, he was homesick for May and now that he was back with her and Ben, he was homesick for Tony.

Guilt didn’t eat at him long though, before he caught May and Ben exchange a loaded glance. His gut told him that he was missing something. It gnawed at him until he finally asked the question that had been hanging over his head like a knife.

“You guys aren’t just in my head, are you?” They both frowned, and annoyance shot through Peter when they shared another look. “Just tell me the truth.”

“No.” Ben answered, and a shot of panic ran through Peter. 

“Then what are you?” Peter inched away from them. “Aliens? I hope not because I’m done with aliens. They’re officially canceled.” 

“I am the soul stone.”

Peter started. The words were said in May’s voice but it wasn’t her way of speaking. It was flat and monotone, nothing like how May used to talk.

“I took on forms that I felt would be the most calming for you to see, Peter Parker.” 

“I don’t understand.” Peter’s head was spinning. He stood and backed away from them. The pair seemed unbothered by his reaction. 

“I appeared to Gamora when she was alone here, as well.” Ben said in the same weird way May had. “The sight of her mother comforted her.”

Peter shook his head. He felt like he was going to puke. “Why I am still here?”

“Tony Stark wielded the stone and paid the price.” May answered and Peter blanched.

“What price?” He asked, afraid of the answer.

“A soul for a soul.” Ben said in that unnerving solemn tone. “The person he loved the most.” 

“I’m not- he doesn’t- but Pepper- “Peter stammered. 

Tony left him here? 

“Tony Stark loves Pepper Potts very much, but the love for one’s child typically trumps romantic love.” 

The tears he was trying to hold back sprung to the surface. 

“Why would he leave me?” He asked but then instantly regretted it. 

Tony was able to beat Thanos and bring back half of the universe. Who was Peter to think that he was worth more than all those billions of people. Tony was an Avenger and sometimes Avengers had to make the hard decisions. 

“He did not know the price.” May answered. “He was only focused on making things right in universe,” May paused and Ben finished her thought.

“And bringing back his son.” 

Well, wasn’t that ironic, Peter thought as he covered his face with his hands and hid his tears from the stone that wore May and Ben’s faces. “So, I’m stuck here forever?” He finally asked into his hands.

It was a long moment before the stone spoke again. 

“Do you love Tony Stark?”

“Yes.” Peter answered the seemingly random question with no hesitation. 

“Why?” 

Peter thought for a moment about how he wanted to answer. It wasn’t a hard question, but it felt weighted, important. Like something big hinged on his response. 

“Because Tony’s a good person. He saves people. He saved me. Tony saved my life before he even officially met me.”

Peter remembered that night at the Stark Expo what felt like forever ago. Back then he was a stupid kid in an Iron Man mask who thought he was invincible. He had really thought that he could shoot down that droid. He had thought that he had somehow blasted it away. He remembered the swoop in his stomach at seeing his hero, Iron Man, saving him then flying away.

_Nice work, kid._

“When May died, Tony took me in when no one would have. He took He didn’t even hesitate. He took me into his home. He adopted me.” 

Peter thought back to that rooftop the night May died. The memory of unanswered calls and texts to Happy and the periodical radio silence from Tony before the Vulture had never really been forgotten.

It hadn’t been fair to Tony, Peter knew that. He’d changed and had gotten better at the whole mentoring gig after the plane crash, but it was how Peter felt and it was what it was. So, Peter had given the hospital Tony’s number in hopes that he’d revert back to his old ways and let the call go to voicemail.

Looking back, being adopted by Tony was an infinity better scenario then Peter’s plan A; which had been living on the streets. Some days, Peter’s new life still caught him by surprise. Tony Stark aka Iron Man aka Peter’s hero since the day Tony stood up in front of the press and announced that he was superhero, became his mentor, then a father figure, then his actual father. Maybe not biologically, but if May and Ben had taught him one thing, DNA only mattered so much. In some cases, not at all.

“Tony puts other people before him, no matter what. No matter the cost. He’s a hero. He’s my hero.”

The stone looked at him for a long time before the forms of May and Ben smiled. They both stood and walked towards him.

“So, um,” Peter stuttered, suddenly nervous. Something in the air shifted around them. His Spidey sense hummed incessantly at the base of his spine. “Was that a test? Because I feel like it kind of was.” 

“You are a good person, Peter Parker.” May placed a hand on Peter’s shoulder. He winced; it burned. 

“You will do great things.” Ben put his hand on Peter’s other shoulder. Peter sucked in a breath. The heat seemed to seep through his shirt and absorb into his skin. “You wield great power but remember, with great power comes great responsibility.”

Peter’s whole body felt like it was on fire. He tried to escape from their grasp, to get away from the flames that ate up his body, but the hands on his shoulders tightened, keeping him still.

“Do not be afraid, Peter Parker.” May and Ben said in unison. “I have taken pity on you. You will return home.” 

Their hands moved and held each side of his face. Peter gasped as the fire suddenly consumed him whole. He couldn’t see. The flames filled him up. He tasted the ash on his tongue. 

Someone was screaming but Peter somehow still heard a voice before he was eaten up by fire.

“Farewell, Peter Parker.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive!
> 
> I did not mean to take so long on this update. I've been steadily writing on this story for two months and wondered why it was taking me forever. Well I checked my progress and this chapter was over 16,000 words and I wasn't even done with the rough draft. The thought of rewriting and editing that much made my brain melt so I split it up into two chapters. 
> 
> Also, you may have noticed that the relationship tags have changed. That's because that certain relationship has changed from what I originally plotted out. What I had planned seemed out of character the longer I sat on it. Honestly, I'm not sure how exactly that aspect will end up playing out. I'll update the tags appropriately whenever I get it worked out.
> 
> Lastly, thank y'all so much for your support, kudos, and comments on this story and the series. I've been slacking on replying to comments lately but please know that I see them and appreciate them all! They keep me going! <3


	4. Second Trimester

Being resurrected was worse than dying. 

Getting tore apart was practically a cake walk compared to being put back together. Peter didn’t know if that was how it had been for everyone else too or if the universe had decided that he hadn’t been punished enough.

Awareness was the first thing to come back. He floated through inky black darkness like a ghost, unawake and unanchored, then he felt it. The white hot pain flashed through the smoothing darkness and didn’t stop until each part of his body had been stitched back together. 

Finally, finally, when the worst of the pain subsided, when his atoms finished reassembling themselves, did Peter blink back to life. 

His body ached but it was more like the dull ache after a long night on patrol. He cautiously flexed his hands and feet, counting and testing all ten fingers and toes. He had never been happier to have all his digits. They rubbed against soft, plush material underneath him. 

The longer he laid there, the more aware Peter became of his surroundings. 

He knew this place. He knew the soft carpet that got caught on his sticky fingers. When he opened his eyes, he knew the cheap plastic stars that sat on the tall ceiling above him.

He sat up slowly and instantly regretted it. Sounds suddenly flooded in all around him, harsh and loud. He clamped his hands over his ears, but it did absolutely nothing to block out the noise. 

He could hear sirens blocks away; dogs barking, children screaming. There was another sound even further out then then others, but getting closer. It almost sounded like a rocket.

Whatever it was, it was loud. It grated against ears and scraped across his brain. It was ten times worse than any of the other noises.

Head aching, Peter let his body act on instinct. He crawled back until his back hit the wall then climbed up it. His new hiding spot didn’t make the sound go away but it did make him feel safer.

It got closer and closer until it was so loud that Peter was convinced that his ear drums would burst. Then when he thought that he couldn’t take it any longer, it stopped. 

Actually, all the noises stopped and the lights were dimmed. He also wasn’t alone anymore. A blurry figure appeared at the doorway and then started moving around the room.

Whoever was speaking to him. Peter tried to answer their questions the best that he could, even though he only understood maybe half of what was being said. 

“Ben?” 

“Try again.” 

Peter blinked and the blurry figured cleared up enough to take on the shape of Tony. He almost cried with relief. The stone had told him that Tony was alive but hearing it was nothing compared to seeing it with his own two eyes.

That, combined with the sweet relief of utter silence, thanks to the headphones Tony put on him, let Peter relax enough to let himself tip into the darkness and into Tony’s waiting arms.

He knew that Tony would catch him. 

He always did.

***

Peter heard heartbeats. 

His sluggish mind counted four of them, each pounding away and making his head feel like someone was digging ice picks into his eyes. Every single beat was so loud that they seemed to rattle his bones. 

Tears leaked out of the corners of his closed eyes and were instantly swept away by a callused fingertip. A scent overtook him and Peter knew that mix of expensive cologne and motor oil anywhere. He painstakingly cracked his eyes open.

“Tony?”

The fuzzy looking Tony that hovered over him smiled. “Yeah, I’m here, bud. I’m here.” Tony’s hand moved to cup the side of his face and Peter closed his eyes again against the harsh light, greedily leaning into the contact. 

A soft hand wrapped around one of Peter’s and squeezed. He instantly knew that it was Pepper and gripped her hand back just as tightly in return. Eyes still closed, Peter tilted his head to hear her heartbeat better. It mixed with Tony’s and the sound was warm and familiar. 

It was safe. It was home.

Expect for the two other heartbeats that pounded around him. One was calm and measured but the other was super-fast. It was the fastest heartbeat Peter had ever heard. It made his head ache.

His confusion must have shown on his face because Tony’s hand traveled up to rest on his forehead. “What’s wrong, Pete?”

“It hurts.” Peter answered honestly.

“Your senses?” Tony asked and hummed in acknowledgement when Peter nodded. “Bruce, turn down the lights, please. Get those blinds too.” 

The room became noticeably darker and Peter slumped in relief. 

“Better?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Good. Think you could pop those peepers open for us?”

It took some effort, but when Peter finally pried his eyes open he was rewarded with the sight of Tony and Pepper smiling down at him.

“There you are.” Tony said softly. “Welcome back, Spidey.”

“Good to be back.” Peter tried to give them a smile that reflected how happy he was to see them but it came out a lot shakier then he wanted. 

The sound of a throat being cleared made Peter look over at the other side of the room where he found Bruce Freaking Banner standing there, watching them. 

So, Peter now had another Avenger to add to his list of ones he’d embarrassed himself in front of. He was close to the full set. 

It did make him feel a little better that Dr. Banner looked almost as embarrassed himself and slinked towards the door. 

“I’m going to step out for a minute. Let me know if you guys need anything.” He nodded to the three of them then left the room.

It was quiet for only a split second before Tony filled with the air of stories of what he’d missed. 

It wasn’t Tony’s normal rambling but his anxious kind. It bothered Peter but he was way too tired to try and figure out what Tony would be anxious over. So he leaned into the arm that Pepper had slid around his shoulders and let Tony’s voice wash over him.

He tried to relax as much as possible but it was difficult. His head still ached and he didn’t know if it was because of the way his senses were dialed up to eleven or the way he kept trying to push away the memories of the Soul Stone that kept creeping up on him. 

He tried to bury not-May and Ben’s smiles, Bucky gently tugging him along, Flash’s twenty questions, and MJ’s soft lips as deeply in the recesses of his mind that they’d go.

Tony had a few stories behind him when the mystery quick heartbeat crept back to Peter’s attention. It slowed down whenever Tony paused for a breath and sped back up whenever he started speaking again. 

It took a while to pin down where exactly it was coming from. It was coming from Pepper. But it wasn’t her heartbeat. 

Peter went cold. When he left, Pepper had only had one heartbeat. So there were two explanations:

Pepper had been infection with some kind of alien organism.

Or,

Pepper was pregnant.

Peter was not prepared for the onslaught of emotions that coursed through him after that revelation. 

His first fully formed thought was: _Cool, I died and they decided to have another kid._

The more rational part of his brain tried to jump in and assure him that that wasn’t true. It reasoned that if they thought so little of him to replace him then they wouldn’t have been waiting at his bedside to wake up.

When it comes to emotional versus logic, though, logic rarely won out.

Now hurt, Peter tried to causally shift away from Pepper’s touch but failed epically. After the second attempt, Pepper moved away with a frown and Tony pinned him under an assessing gaze.

“You okay, Pete?”

“Uh, yeah.” Peter’s face burned. He tried to swallow around the lump in his throat. “I’m just tired.” 

“I bet.” Pepper said with a kind smile. “Are you hungry?” She asked, moving to hold his hand and frowning again when Peter moved away at the last second.

Peter shook his head. “Not really. Can I get a shower though?” 

He ignored the look that Tony and Pepper exchanged over his head. 

“Sure bud. You want to head up to your room?”

Peter nodded and followed them out of med bay and into the most awkward elevator ride of his life. They were all quiet but nervous energy cracked like lightening all around them. Every once a while, Tony or Pepper would twitch towards him like they had physically hold themselves back from touching him.

And the whole time, the baby’s heartbeat was the only thing Peter could hear. It was a little slower now that neither of its parents were speaking, but it was still so loud. It sounded like FRIDAY was blasting over the speaker system. 

After what felt like an eternity, they arrived at the penthouse and Peter made a break for his room. He distantly heard Tony call out but he barricaded himself in his bathroom before Tony could reach him. 

“FRIDAY, lock the door please.” Peter asked as he threw off his clothes. Wanting a shower just hadn’t been an excuse to get away. He felt filthy. His fingernails were clean when he looked at them but he could still feel Titan’s dirt underneath them.

“Certainly, Peter. Also, it’s good to have you back.”

“Thanks, Fri.”

Peter turned the water on as hot as it would get, then scrubbed until he finally felt clean.

***

Tony was sitting on the edge of his bed when Peter finally stepped back out of the bathroom. He was leaned over, arms braced on his knees, staring at the floor with BB at his feet. He looked up when the bot chirped happily and smiled up at Peter. 

“Hey, kid. Feeling better?”

“Yeah.” 

Peter didn’t quite make it past the bathroom door frame before BB rolled forward at full speed and repeatedly crashed into his ankles until Peter picked him up.

“Hey, buddy.” Peter chuckled, holding him close. “I missed you too.” 

Tony laughed softly from his spot on the bed, as the bot beeped in agreement. “I’m with him, Pete. We really missed you, bud.” 

The baby’s heartbeat still pounded at the back of his head. Peter clutched BB tighter, looked down at the carpet, and nodded. “Yeah, me too.”

Tony’s feet entered his line of vision.

“Could I get a hug?” 

For a split second, Peter hesitated, but then he remembered Pepper’s face when he shook off her touch. He didn’t think he could bear seeing the same look from Tony. 

So, Peter nodded, and Tony gently removed BB from Peter’s arm. He sat the bot on the floor, and then gathered Peter close to him. Peter gripped back hard and tucked himself up under Tony’s chin. He fit perfectly, like a puzzle piece.

“I’m sorry.” He said into Tony’s shirt.

“For what?” Tony sounded confused.

“I didn’t mean to upset Pepper earlier.”

“Oh.” Tony breathed, catching on. “She’s okay, Pete. She understands. Don’t worry.”

“Promise?”

Tony huffed a laugh against Peter’s hair. “Promise.” 

His promise relieved his guilt and Peter sighed with relief.

They stood there for a long time, neither eager to separate but the heartbeat still pounded in Peter’s ears like a bad Edgar Allan Poe story. 

“Hey, can I ask you something?” He found himself asking, tucking him further into Tony.

“Shoot.” Tony said, easily.

“Is Pepper-um-has she is-“Peter stuttered before deciding to just blurt it out. “Is Pepper pregnant?” 

Tony tensed then started to pull away. Peter froze and held on tighter. He shook his head into Tony shoulder. 

“I’m sorry. Forget it. Forget I even asked.” 

“Pete.” Tony said softy and gently pried Peter off him. Peter stared down at his bare feet, refusing to meet Tony’s eye and face his anger. 

Tony huffed. “Peter, I’m not mad. Just look at me for a sec.”

Peter looked up to see that Tony didn’t look angry at all, just confused. “How did you know that?”

“I, uh, I could hear its heartbeat.”

Tony’s eyes widened. “You-you heard the heartbeat?” 

“Yeah. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. My senses were just at eleven and I-”

Tony shook his head. “Stop apologizing, seriously. Like forever. I forbid you from ever apologizing again.” Peter nodded and swallowed another ‘sorry’.

“We were going to tell you in a few days.” Tony continued, the corners of his lips curling up into a grin. “Pep had a dinner planned but this works too. Just act surprised, okay?”

“Sure.” Peter promised easily. He was glad that Tony wasn’t upset that he figured it out.

“Ah,” Tony exclaimed with a grin. “I almost forgot something.” 

Tony reached into his pocket and pulled out a slim red and bracelet. He clasped it around Peter’s wrist and turned it, showing off the engraved sliver spider on the other side.

“This is a welcome back gift from the princess of Wakanda” Tony explained. “It’s a suit, works just like the Iron Spider but much better. I added Karen in for you too.”

“Awesome” Peter breathed. He twisted it back and forth, admiring it. He decided that he would try it on later.

“No pressure, by the way. But it’s there when you’re ready to use it.” Tony said, watching him. “She’s also a bully and demanded your phone number, so don’t be surprised if a weird number texts you later.”

“Oh, okay.” Peter said, unsure but Tony just laughed and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“Don’t worry about it, Pete. You two will get along like a house on fire, I’m sure of it.” He steered Peter towards the door. “Now let’s practice your surprised face before dinner.”

***

Within the hour, Peter’s phone chimed with a video of the Black Panther kicking a suit and flying backwards in slow-mo to the tune of ‘Mm, whatcha say’ from an unknown international number.

Peter had a feeling that it would be the start of a beautiful friendship. 

***

They didn’t tell him about the baby that night. They told him two nights later over one of Tony’s mom’s old recipe for spaghetti and meatballs.

Peter knew that Tony had been teasing, but he did work on his surprise face the night before. He hoped that his smile didn’t look as brittle as he felt when Pepper excitedly placed her hands on her small, round bump and announced the good news. He tied to keep his voice steady as he congratulated and told them how happy he was for them.

It was good news. The best news that some people ever got. So why did the knot in Peter’s stomach only grow as Pepper told him all that they knew so far about the baby? 

It was a human baby. It was healthy. And they had decided to wait until it was born to know the gender. 

Still, the longer Pepper gushed, her happiness spilling over and spreading to Tony, the sicker Peter felt. 

“Can I be excused?” Peter interrupted in the middle Pepper’s vision for the gender neutral extraordinaire nursery. 

Tony frowned at him across the table. “Everything okay, Pete?”

“Yeah, I just don’t feel so good.”

Tony paled instantly, and Peter realized a second too late what he exactly he said. He broke out in a cold sweat and he started feeling sick for real. Bile crept up his throat and he pushed away from the table.

“I gotta, I’m going to,” He gagged. “I’m sorry.”

He barely made it to his bathroom before he threw up every bit of dinner he’d eaten. He heaved until it seemed like he’d emptied his stomach of everything he’d ever eaten in his life. He could taste dust and ash coated on the roof of his mouth. He gagged and started all over again.

One hand clutched the toilet seat and the other stayed splayed out against his chest. He had to check, he had to make sure that his body was still there. That he was still solid. That he was still whole.

Peter finally finished, and he sagged forward, exhausted. Shaking hands and pulled him back just in time from falling into the disgusting mess he was mere inches from. An equally unsteady voice hushed him.

“Shh, it’s alright, Pete.” 

Peter squinted up through watery eyes at Tony. He looked as bad as Peter felt. Pepper stood in the doorway behind them, wringing her hands. Unshed tears shone in her eyes. 

No, no, no. That couldn’t happen. Pepper wasn’t allowed to cry. Especially not because of Peter.

Peter gathered himself together with one last sniffle and pulled himself up off the floor.

“I’m okay.” His voice was little more than a croak. “I’m sorry. You guys can go finish dinner. I’m fine.”

Tony didn’t quite scoff but it was close. 

With a firmly place hand on his back, he wordlessly led Peter past Pepper, out of the bathroom and towards the bed. He guided Peter on the bed, then until he was under the covers. Then he and Pepper climbed in after him. 

They closed in and held Peter close, even though he had just blown off their news and puked while Pepper was excitingly sharing her plans. They held him like he wouldn’t by pushed off to the side in six months. They held him like they used to before he went and died.

They held him like they loved him. 

***

The three of them kept a low profile for about a week before Tony and Pepper reluctantly decided to share Peter with other people. 

The first visitors were Steve and Bucky, the former nearly bursting through the elevator doors to get to Peter. He swept Peter up into a crushing hug and refused to let go until Bucky had to bodily removed Steve.

“How you doing?” Bucky asked, ruffling Peter’s hair as Steve shuffled towards Tony and Pepper, sniffling suspiciously. 

“I’m doing.” Peter answered automatically but took it back the second Bucky’s eyebrow raised. “I mean, I’m fine. I’m good. It’s good.”

“You don’t have to pretend with me, bug. I was there, remember?” 

Peter nodded but Bucky still side eyed him. He tilted his head towards Tony, Pepper, and Steve who were standing around the bar sipping coffee. 

“You don’t have to pretend with them, either.” 

“I don’t want to worry them.” Peter admitted quietly.

“They already worry.” Bucky countered. “They worried before all this mess happened.”

“They have too much to worry about now. Besides, I’m fine. Really.” He stressed even as Bucky shook his head. 

“Whatever you say, bug.” Bucky shrugged then headed over to the others. “Whatever you say.” 

***

The other Avengers got their turn welcoming Peter back and doting on him too. 

He even got a sweet pair of throwing knives with _Spider Brethren_ engraved on the side, from Natasha. They were instantly confiscated by Tony but then just as quickly stolen and given back to him by Nat.

Bruce was a little less awkward this time around. Sam lightly roasted him but still pulled him into a quick hug. He was told that he met Thor, but he was so excited that he was pretty sure he blacked out. And Clint gave him a set of ninja stars that he snuck to Peter when Tony’s back was turned.

Part of Peter was flattered by the heaps of attention. The rest of him was extremely tired by it all. Like, just bone crushingly exhausted. Just extensionally tired. 

It didn’t help that he hadn’t slept much since he’d been back. Or at all, really. FRIDAY had tattled on him after the third night in a row of him not getting more than four hours and he got a lecture from both Tony and Pepper about healthy sleep habits and being open and honest with them.

Apparently, Tony had been hard at work creating some new protocols while Peter had been gone. It was okay though. The code had been easy to rewrite, and Tony seemed happy about the new reports he was getting.

The perpetual exhaustion and lack of sleep was probably why all Peter felt was absolute weariness when Tony announced that Happy was bringing his friends over for a visit. He didn’t notice until after Tony’s face fell that he hadn’t been quick enough to stop his grimace. 

“Hap hasn’t made it to the city yet.” Tony said, pulling out his phone and bringing it to his ear. “We can reschedule.” 

The sudden guilt that crashed down on Peter was as heavy as his tiredness. 

“Its fine, Tony.” He quickly snatched Tony’s phone away and disconnecting the call before Happy could answer. He smiled the best he could. “This is great, thanks.”

Tony assessed him with a measured glance. “You sure?” He finally asked. “If you’re not ready, they can come another time.” 

“Yeah, no, it’s cool.” Peter said with as much enthusiasm as he could muster. “I can’t wait.”

Within in the hour, Ned, MJ, and Gwen was escorted into the compound living area and Peter was instantly bombarded. Ned and Gwen took turns squeezing the life out of him, while MJ looked on unimpressed from the sidelines.

Gwen finally edged Ned out of the way enough to fully capture Peter’s attention. She used her mouth which had been a true time-tested technique and Peter absolutely melted. The world seemed to narrow until it was just the two of them. 

God, he had missed that. He had missed her. In that moment, Peter was convinced that nothing could ruin that moment.

That is until Happy’s wolf whistle straight up murdered the mood and brought him crashing back down to Earth. 

Peter pulled back, feeling the blush that crept up his neck. Gwen laughed, seemingly unbothered with the teasing. In fact, she laid one more kiss one him before following Tony to the kitchen offering her help with lunch.

Ned trailed behind them, but not before giving Peter light punch in his arm and a grin then leaving him alone with MJ. 

Peter felt himself start to go red all over again underneath MJ’s intense gaze. Her expression was unreadable. 

“MJ, I-“Peter started but MJ raised a hand, stopping Peter from saying potentially embarrassing and/or stupid. 

“You don’t have to explain anything to me, Parker.” She said. “It was nothing, I get it.”

“Well,” Peter hedged. “I wouldn’t say it was nothing.”

MJ raised a judgmental brow and Peter wilted underneath it. 

“I mean, I thought it was nice. Not that I’d do it again. I mean, I have a girlfriend. But it was nice, I don’t regret it. I mean, I do but I don’t. You may, and that’s fine. Well, not fine. It’d sting a bit but-“

“Peter.” MJ mercifully put him out of his rambling misery. “I just meant that I know that it was different in there. Now we’re back and there’s no reason to be weird or for anyone to know.” She patronized and cut her eyes meaningfully towards the kitchen, were all their close friends and family and Peter’s girlfriend were at. “We’re cool. Okay?”

“Oh,” Peter said eloquently. “Yeah, sure. Okay.”

MJ’s lips curled up into what Peter guessed was a smile, or her best impression of one, then left. 

***

All things considering, Peter kept everything on lock.

He slept when he could and ate when he remembered to. And maybe he didn’t talk to Gwen or Ned or MJ as much as he should have. Or he didn’t venture out from beyond their private apartment in the compound often as Tony and Pepper would have liked. 

And, okay, maybe at the worst times possible, his brain liked to remind him that of the time that he was disintegrated by a crazy purple Titan and he thought he died but he was actually just taken to a pocket dimension and then got stuck there and was convinced that he’d never make it home and somehow got adopted by an ancient sentient gem stone that wore his dead segregate parent’s faces.

Oh, and on top of that, he cheated on his girlfriend. 

But, for the most part, he could stuff all that down and lock it away. It wasn’t like when May died, and he could barely function some days.

Back then, he could rely on Tony to pick him back up. Tony would still do that for him but things weren’t as simple as it was back then. It was more than just the two of them now. Tony needed to be there for Pepper, the baby, and the Avengers.

Peter couldn’t just fall apart anymore. 

And especially not on Tony and Pepper’s wedding day.

***

Peter fumbled with his cuff links. Everyone else had already gotten dressed a while ago but Peter was dragging behind. 

His tie hung loose around his neck and his suit felt too tight. He tugged the collar away from his neck with shaking hands. 

Peter’s unhelpful brain kept reminding him that it been fourteen days since he’d come back. 

He took in a deep breath and tried to calm down. He didn’t need to fall apart today of all days. Especially since things had been running smoothly so far. The caterer and photographer had been on time. The cake looked perfect and the paparazzi were no were to be seen.

The best part was that Tony looked relaxed for the first time in two weeks. He was surrounded by all his friends. He was laughing and nursing a scotch, a faint flush coloring his cheeks.

Peter just had to get it together. He had to get over himself. He had to lock it down.

He was on the verge of just “accidentally” forgetting the stupid cuff links when Happy called to him from across the room. 

“Hey kid, you alright?”

Peter cursed under his breath. There went his plan of laying low until he could get himself under control. Now he had the whole room’s attention on him; including Tony.

“Don’t be nervous, Pete.” Steve told him. “Being the best man isn’t too bad.”

“Yeah,” Rhodey pipped up. “You just have to help me tackle Tony when he tries to make a break for it. No need to be so nervous.”

“That is right, young Stark.” Thor boomed. “This is joyous occasion. Your parents are about to be wed. You will no longer be a bastard child.”

Peter choked on his own spit while everyone else roared with laughter. Peter wondered if anyone had explained the situation to Thor or if he was just screwing with him. He was never sure when it came to the god.

Tony took pity on Peter and called off the dogs. “Alright, leave the kid alone. Don’t you guys have better things to do then harass children?” 

He set his drink down and walked over to where Peter stood by the window. He caught his trembling wrists with a soft smile. “Need some help?”

Peter did but shook his head anyways. “I can do it.”

“I know you can,” Tony said. “But humor me, would you? It’s my wedding day.” 

Peter reluctantly nodded and watched as Tony deftly folded back his sleeve cuffs and threaded the metal cuff links through the material, clasping it. 

They had been a birthday gift, his first spent with Tony. They were gold and engraved with his new initials.

 _PPS_

_Peter Parker-Stark_

Tony moved onto Peter’s tie. He expertly looped and knotted the silk cloth like he’d been doing it his whole life. Which, now that Peter thought it about, he’d probably had. He pictured a tiny baby Tony tying his own baby ties.

“There,” Tony said with a warm smile as he took a half step back, admiring his handy work but not before tucking a loose curl behind Peter’s ear. “Easy peasy.”

“If you say so.” Peter couldn’t stop himself from pulling on the collar. The suit was tailored so why did everything feel so tight?

“I do.” Tony took Peter’s hands again, like he was trying to stop them from shaking himself. Peter shrunk back a little under Tony’s apprising eye. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” 

Tony hummed, sounding not the least bit convinced. “Would you tell me if I you weren’t?” 

“Yeah.” Peter lied. 

Tony looked doubtful but didn’t press it. He put an arm around Peter’s shoulders, giving them a little reassuring squeeze, and led them back to the group. 

Peter was sharing best man duties with Rhodey. Tony told them that he there was no way that he could choose between them so they both were his best men. Steve was an usher along with Thor and BB, who had been fitted with, in Peter’s opinion, a very sharp looking bow tie sticker for the occasion. DUM E was ring bearer, and no one knew how that one would work out. 

Tony picked up his drink again and took a sip. He turned to Peter and after a moment, he held the glass out to him. “Want a taste?”

Both of Peter’s eyebrows jumped up. “Huh?”

“Do you want a sip?” Tony repeated like he was speaking to a toddler. 

“Uh,” Peter answered intelligently as he looked to the other adults for their reactions. 

None of them were helpful in the least. Rhodey and Sam watched on indifferently while Steve and Thor looked like they were ready to pour up some shots the second Tony gave the okay. Bruce was minding his own business, reading a book.

Tony rolled his eyes. “It’s not a test, Pete. It’s a special occasion, I figured I’d offer you a sip. If you want it, fine.” He shrugged. “If not, that’s fine too.” 

Peter hesitated for a just a second longer but took the drink. Tony letting him drink was a rarity. It’d probably be the last time he’d get a chance before he was legal.

Peter brought the glass to his mouth and smothered a gag. Its smoky smell had lingered in the room since they had opened the bottle earlier, but it was much worse up close. It smelt like a forest fire. It absolutely reeked.

Everyone chuckled at his reaction then outright laughed when Peter threw back the amber drink in one gulp. 

Peter gaged. It was disgusting. It burned all the way down his throat and in his nose before finally warmly pooling at the bottom of his stomach. 

Tony snatched the glass out of his hand sternly but soon dissolved into laughter with the others. 

“Jesus, Pete.” He chuckled as he patted Peter’s back helpfully as Peter coughed and sputtered. “I said take a sip not drink the whole thing. Besides, you don’t shoot scotch. Who taught you how to drink?”

“No one.” Peter croaked and swore off all brown liquor for the rest of his life.

“Well, good,” Tony said, with a smile. “Let’s keep it that way.” 

A knock on the door provided a distraction to the hot mess that was currently his sinuses. Natasha poked her head in the room. 

“I’m here to steal Peter.” She declared.

Tony raised an eyebrow at her. “I thought that there was no fraternization before the ceremony.”

Nat rolled her eyes. “That’s just for the bride and groom, Stark. Bridal parties can fraternize, but no one wants to see any of you losers anyways, just Peter.”

A chorus of “ouches” rang throughout the room. 

“That hurts, Nat.” Steve complained, grinning up at her from the couch. He was just on this side of tipsy from the Asgardian mead that he and Thor had been sipping. 

“I’m sorry.” She said without a shred of actual sorrow in her voice, before smiling sweetly at Peter. 

Tony had told one time that he was pretty sure that Peter was only one in four people that he’d ever seen Natasha be so nice to. The other three were Clint’s kids.

“Come along, маленький паук.” 

Peter looked between Tony and Natasha, conflicted for a second but then followed her with a shrug. What could he do? Spiders had to stick together. It was in the spider brethren code of honor.

“I’ll bring him back soon.” Natasha told the room then led him to the other side of the compound where Pepper and her friends were sipping champagne and getting ready. It smelled better than the scotch and the glass that Natasha handed him tasted much better too. 

Pepper was already in her dress. Soft white lace started at the base of her neck, traveling down to her elbows, and then to the floor. It wasn’t poofy like some of the dresses that he’d seen on TV, but Peter didn’t think that Pepper was really the big poofy dress kind of person.

Her hair was curled and pulled into a low ponytail and she wore a metal flower crown with small crystals and pearls embedded all around it. She had only a little bit of makeup on, nothing more then what she’d go to the office in, and she didn’t even need that. She looked gorgeous. 

If you didn’t know, you wouldn’t even have been able to tell that she was pregnant. Her small bump was hidden by the way the dress cinched at her waist then loosely flowed outward.

Peter concentrated and listened to the baby. Its heartbeat thumped steadily at a healthy 150 beats per minute. He’d found himself doing an embarrassing amount of research about fetuses and found out about all the ways pregnancy could go wrong. Then he started the habit of listening in to its tiny little heart occasionally, just to make sure it was still beating.

Pepper lit up when she saw him, and Peter forced himself to stay still when she walked towards him. 

“Oh, Pete.” She breathed when she reached him. “Look at you. You look so handsome, so grown up.” 

She reached down and gently freed the curl that Tony had trapped behind his ear. She lightly cupped his cheek and Peter leaned into her touch greedily, any previous shyness evaporating. 

“I’m so glad you’re here, Pete. Tony and I love you very much.” 

Peter didn’t have a chance to say anything back before the tears started rolling down her cheeks. She scoffed at herself and gave Peter small self-deprecating smile. 

“Damn these hormones.” She laughed lightly as she wiped away the tears and a bit of her eye makeup away. She sucked in a breath and steadied herself. 

“I do actually have a job for you.” She said. “I didn’t call get you here to cry all over you.” She picked up an envelope off the table and handed it to him.

“I need you to give this to Tony.” She instructed. “Tell him not to worry, this wasn’t mandatory. I just wanted to do something extra.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Repeat that.”

Peter slid the envelope into his suit jacket. “Don’t worry, Tony. You didn’t have to do this. Pepper is just extra.” 

Pepper laughed. “Good enough.”

“And she says I’m extra.” Tony grumbled a few minutes later when he took the envelope from Peter. He only lasted about fifteen seconds before he started silently crying too. Peter hadn’t cried once so far, hadn't even felt the urge, but he was already exhausted from everyone else’s tears and the ceremony hadn’t even started yet. 

Tony read the letter twice before pulling Peter into a big hug. He held Peter tight against his chest and held him for a while. It was a long hug even by Tony Stark standards. He pressed a cheek against Peter’s head. 

“I love you, buddy.” Tony whispered into Peter’s curls.

“I love you too, Tony.” Peter closed his eyes and tucked his face into Tony’s neck, fully giving into the hug.

Peter felt warm and safe, feelings that were rare nowadays and Tony tucked him tighter to his body, as if he could sense it. Peter couldn’t believe that he had wanted to leave this behind.

Peter also had no idea that this wedding would be as taxing as it was. He’d hadn’t expected to be so affected by everyone’s emotions. Of course, it probably didn’t help that he hadn’t had a full night’s sleep since he’d come back, but that was beside the point.

Tony sniffed and pulled away first. He rubbed the spot where his arc reactor scar was. He did that sometimes did when emotions ran a bit high. While Peter struggled his hands to steady, Tony pulled himself back together with the ease of someone who spent most of their life on the public stage.

“What did your beloved send you, Stark?” Thor called out after the moment fully passed.

“Nudes.” 

Peter choked again but it was worth it to see Steve’s epic spit take.

***

The ceremony was simple. There were no flowery proclamations of love. No long-winded remarks from a priest. No fireworks. None of the Iron Man suits exploded. No super villains crashed the event. 

The longer the day went on, the more Peter realized that he had no idea what usually happened at weddings, especially super hero ones. He’d only been to one wedding. It had been May’s second cousins and he hadn’t paid attention to most of it. 

Everything went off without a hitch. Rhodey and Maria Hill walked down the aisle first, then after Steve gave the signal, Peter and Natasha followed. His shakes came back half way towards the alter and Natasha gently pulled him closer to her side. 

“You’re doing good, маленький паук.”

Peter twisted his hands together once he reached Rhodey, in a desperate attempt to get them still before Tony walked out. 

As he walked down the aisle, Tony looked happy and relaxed in a way that Peter had never seen before. He didn’t even look the least bit nervous. Which was alright because Peter had enough anxiety buzzing in him for them both.

Tony smiled brightly at Peter as he took his place at his side. He grinned as DUM E successfully rolled towards them with the rings. Then he looked awestruck when Pepper appeared. She looked just as happy as Tony had been all morning as she was escorted to him by Happy, who looked like he had been crying all morning and was unsuccessfully trying to hide it.

Happy pulled it together though and breezed through the ceremony. He threw out some good-natured anecdotes about the couple that got some laughs and happy tears. Then he proclaimed Tony and Pepper husband and wife. They kissed, and it ended as quickly as it had started.

The next thing Peter knew, he was being pulled back down the aisle by Natasha, then being posed in a million different ways by a photographer with Tony and Pepper. He was tired but stood where he was told to and smiled the best that he could. 

The reception seemed like it would never end. It dragged on all night and by the time Tony and Pepper started leave for their honeymoon, Peter was done. 

He’d been called handsome no less than fifty million times. One little old lady had even pinched his cheeks. Every person that had talked to him had some degree of pity in their eyes. Either because they heard his poor orphan story, or they knew that he’d been taken to the soul stone.

He hadn’t even had his friends to deflect the attention. Ned had to leave soon after the ceremony. Gwen left not to long after him and MJ hadn’t even been able to go.

At that point, all Peter wanted to do was go lay in his bed and try to sleep. But first he had to convince Tony to leave.

“Alright,” Tony said, fussing over Peter for the tenth time and talking a mile a minute. “We’ll be back on Friday. Please eat and sleep. Cook if you can, please try to not eat take out all week. Happy and Steve will be around so feel free to bother them for anything. I’ll let you know when we land. Call us if you need to. We can come back earlier if you need us to.”

Peter could usually keep up with Tony’s rambling but tonight, he only caught maybe half of what Tony was saying. He still nodded along though. “Yeah, sure.” 

“You’re smothering him.” Pepper teased as she walked up. She had already changed into a pair of sweatpants and looked ten times more comfortable then the rest of them. She pressed a kiss to Peter’s cheek. 

Tony huffed. “I’m just trying to be a responsible adult.”

“No, you’re being helicopter parent.”

Tony shrugged. “Tomato, tomahto.” 

Pepper grinned and shook her head at him. She hugged Peter and gave him one last kiss. “Bye, hun. Be good. I love you.”

Peter couldn’t help but smile as he hugged her back. “Love you too.” He leaned down slightly as they broke apart. “Bye, baby Stark. Don’t make your momma puke anymore.” He teased.

Pepper grimaced as she climbed into the limo. “Thanks, Pete, now you jinxed it.”

Tony playfully punched Peter in the arm before dragging him into a hug. “You’d better not just cursed my honeymoon.”

“Sorry.” Peter said, not a bit apologetic. He hid his smile into Tony’s shoulder. Pepper tapped against the window and Tony let go.

“Alright, we gotta go. I love you, kid. See you in a week.” 

“Love you too.”

Peter watched as they drove away, his shoulders slumping with the weight of the day as soon as soon they were out of sight. 

Now his mission was to get to his bed as quickly as possible. He’d almost made it inside the compound unhindered before Bucky came up behind him and slung a friendly arm around his shoulders.

“Where you headed, Pete? Party’s not over yet.”

Peter shrugged. “I’m tired, think I’m going to head to bed.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow at him. “You sure? I’m pretty sure Steve was going to let you try that Asgardian booze.” 

Yeah, that properly wasn’t a good idea. Peter had never been drunk before but he had a feeling that he’d bring the party down. Not to mention Tony would likely kill him if he ever found out.

“No thanks, I’m beat.” 

Bucky gave him a side eye. “If you’re sure.” He drawled. “Do you want Steve or me to come up with you?”

Truthfully, Peter didn’t want to be alone. He really hadn’t been alone other than a few hours a time to “sleep” since he’d been back. But when he glanced at Bucky who was relaxed and loose limbed and Steve who was just inside, still pleasantly tipsy, Peter shallowed down his ‘yes’ and decided to not drag any of them down with him.

“Nah, it’s cool.” Peter wiggled out of Bucky’s grasp and started back towards the door. “I’m just going to go straight to bed.” 

“Alright,” Bucky called after him and Peter felt his eyes on him, following him into compound. “We’ll see you tomorrow then.”

Peter shed the too tight suit as soon as his feet crossed the threshold of his room. He stood in the shower until FRIDAY warned him that being exposed to the hot water any longer would burn him, then he changed into sweatpants and collapsed onto his bed.

He laid there staring at the ceiling for hours until FRIDAY announced that Steve and Bucky were on their way up to for breakfast. 

***

Tony and Pepper were gone for a week and the only productive things that Peter managed to do were sneak out as Spider-Man and ignore every text and call from his friends and girlfriend. 

The former was much harder than the latter considering that he had Happy, Steve, and Bucky constantly checking in on him throughout the week like a trio of mother hens. Rewriting FRIDAY’s code to that she wouldn’t tattle on him ended up being easier then avoiding those three. 

Peter wasn’t really sure why he felt like he had to sneak around to be Spider-Man. Tony hadn’t explicitly said that he couldn’t go back out, but Peter hadn’t asked either. It may have been the fact that Peter was afraid that Tony would outright say no or lay down more ground rules. So, he didn’t ask. 

Better to ask for forgiveness then permission, and all that.

Besides, being Spider-Man gave Peter something to do since his body decided that he was never going to sleep again. At least when he was depressed after May died, he slept through most of it. Now he was lucky to manage more than two hours of sleep a day.

Insomnia made him sloppy, something that Karen took every possible opportunity to tell him when he was in the suit. He was getting hurt a lot again and it wasn’t even on purpose this time. His reflexes were just shot, and Peter knew it was only a matter of time before Tony started noticing. 

Peter had never been good at sneaking around and keeping secrets even when he was operating at his best. Looking back, he shouldn’t have been surprised that May knew about his sneaking out every night. Or when she walked in on him in the suit. 

He still cringed about that one.

So, in theory, he shouldn’t have been surprised to crawl through the open window of his bedroom to find Tony lazily spinning around in his desk chair. 

“Hey, Spidey.” 

Peter dropped to the floor, caught off guard. “Oh, uh, hey, Tony. I didn’t know that you’d be back today.” 

Tony raised an eyebrow. “We’ve been back since dinner. You know, the one that I texted you about hours ago and you ditched.”

“Oh.”

Yeah, now that Tony mentioned it, Peter did remember. It probably wasn’t a good sign that he’d forgotten that they were coming home that day and that they had dinner plans within a span of a few hours. 

Tony snorted, unamused. “Yeah, oh.”

Peter pulled his mask off, guilt creeping up and already eating at him. “I’m so sorry, Tony. I completely forgot.”

Tony didn’t look any happier. “You need to apologize to Pepper tomorrow too. She was looking forward to see you.”

Peter couldn’t push away the pang of shame that rang through him. “Yeah, of course. I will first thing.”

“Good.” Tony nodded again, and his expression softened. “So, Spider-Man’s back, huh?”

“Yeah.” Peter sighed and fell back onto his bed, relived that his flakiness was apparently forgiven. “Is that alright?”

Tony leaned back in the chair, tipping it backwards on two wheels. He looked Peter over for a moment before shrugging. “I don’t see why it wouldn’t be. As long as you’re being careful.”

Peter was trying his best to. He reminded himself to tinker with Karen’s code, so she didn’t try to rat him out too. 

“I just didn’t expect him to be out so soon after,” Tony trailed off, expression clouding, and seemingly unable to finish the thought. Peter was grateful that he didn’t. 

After a second, Tony shook himself out of whatever spiral he’d started himself on and gave a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“But that’s fine. I mean, who am I to judge coping methods. Like the suit, by the way. It’s the one that Shuri made, right? Nothing wrong with something different. As long as you’re being safe, it’s all good.” 

Tony stood up and rested his hand on Peter’s shoulder as he walked past. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” He asked, suddenly so serious that it about gave Peter emotional whiplash. 

“Yeah, I know.”

Tony smiled again and patted Peter’s shoulder once before leaving. 

“Goodnight, Pete. Get some rest, okay?”

“Sure. Goodnight, Tony.”

Peter started in on Karen’s code as soon as the door shut all the way.

***

Self-awareness was a hell of a thing. 

Peter could look at his actions and feelings and could offer up a pretty good diagnosis for what he was doing now a days. Like, even though he lived in the city again and didn’t have the excuse of being too far away, he routinely ignored his friends. Or why he couldn’t sleep anymore. Or why, when he wasn’t out being Spider-Man, he just laid in his bed and stared at the ceiling. Or why he didn’t like to hear or talk about the baby.

Peter could logically look at himself and identify why he did all of it. His inner voice even sounded kind of like his old therapist. 

He was depressed. 

But he didn’t know why. He was back. He was alive. But that was the problem. It summed up 90 percent of his problematic actions. The other 10 percent, which consisted of his feelings about the baby stemmed from fear of rejection issues. 

He’d been through all this before. It wasn’t anything new.

So, if Peter knew what the issue was and how to stop it, why didn’t he? Why did he keep ignoring the all texts that blew up his phone and why couldn’t he get out of bed some days?

 

Why didn’t he just look across the room to Tony and ask for help?

***

Tony and Pepper tried to help the best they could. 

They tried to include him with baby related things and regular everyday things. They’d never officially talked to him about the issue, but Peter knew that they knew that he was slipping again. Too bad everything was always so awkward now.

After May died, Pepper would pull him out if he sunk too low. Tony would usually let him be, staying by Peter’s side through the worst of it and letting it run its course. Pepper though, she gave him the kick in the pants he sometimes needed.

But now, it was like they were both at a loss on what to do. Or maybe they were doing the same things as before, but it was Peter not doing his part.  
He didn’t know anymore. He just knew that they constantly tip toed around him like he’d fall apart at a moment’s notice.

And maybe he would.

Peter didn’t know much about this strange world that he’d come back to.

***

When offer after offer to invite Peter’s friends to the tower was rejected, Tony threw an Avengers Party.

It wasn’t nearly as draining as the wedding had been, thankfully. It was less a party and more of a gathering. King T’Challa even came all the way from Wakanda and brought his sister with him.

Shuri was even cooler in person and talking to her face to face was easier then Peter had thought it would be. They mostly hung out in the corner, away from the adults that ooh’d and awe’d over Pepper’s now very round belly and watched vine compilations. 

Shuri didn’t ask if he was excited about the baby or how it was in the soul stone. She was easy to be with and, for a little bit, Peter could pretend that he was a normal teenager.

Until Steve started telling the story of how they killed Thanos and Tony using the gauntlet. 

When the static finally rushed away from his ears, Shuri was looking at him strangely. “Peter? Are you alright?”

He wasn’t but he clenched his shaking fists and smiled like he was. 

“Yeah, sorry.” He ignored how Tony’s eyes were now on him too. “I’ve got to go pee. I’ll be right back.”

Peter just got his bedroom door closed behind him before his knees gave out. He hit the carpet and just laid there for a while, waiting for the tingling to leave the tips of his fingers. He forced his lungs to take in air even though they would barely expand. He counted the threads of the carpet smashed against his face until his legs didn’t feel like jelly.

That was the moment when there was a knock on the door. Peter ignored it and didn’t say anything when the door cracked open then closed again, and a pair of military boots entered his line of vision.

“You okay, bug?” Bucky asked.

Peter sighed. “Yeah, I guess.”

“You guess?” Bucky sat down beside him and didn’t comment on how Peter was still face planting into the carpet.

“How bad did I embarrass myself in front all of the Avengers and a princess?” Peter mumbled into the carpet.

“Not bad.” Bucky answered. “No one really noticed you leaving after Tony started his own panic attack.”

Great, he’d set off Tony.

Peter groaned, and Bucky started patting the top of his head. 

“It wasn’t your fault.” Bucky told him because he was apparently a mind reader and knew that Peter was currently blaming himself. “I think Steve’s story set him off too. Steve’s never been able to read a room.” 

Peter wanted to laugh because the thought of a socially tone-deaf Captain America was pretty funny. 

“What’s wrong with me?” He asked the carpet instead.

Bucky’s hand paused for the smallest of seconds before threading through Peter’s curls.

“I think Steve and I are going to stay in the city for a while longer.” Bucky said, ignoring Peter's question.

Peter popped open one eye and gazed up at Bucky. 

“Why?”

Bucky stared at the wall for a moment before answering. His hand never stopped moving through Peter’s hair, like it had a mind of its own. Then he shrugged.

“It’s just not the right time to go, I think.”

Peter finally felt good enough to flip around onto his back. His shoulder bumped up against Bucky’s knee. 

Shame that he was ruining two more lives burned in his chest. Bucky and Steve deserved some time away, not shackled to the city because Peter couldn’t get his act together.

“You don’t have to stick around because of me.” He said. “I’m okay.”

Bucky looked down at him, sharply. It wasn’t Winter Solider sharp, but it was stern enough to cut through anything else Peter was prepared to say. His expression softened once Peter shut his mouth.

“Who said anything about hanging around for you?” Bucky’s smirk softened his words. “Plans change, bug. That’s just life.” 

They sat there until Peter could peel himself off the floor and pretend to be okay enough to rejoin the party.

***

While Peter couldn’t bear to even look at the dozens of texts from Gwen, Ned, and MJ, he couldn’t let Shuri’s messages go unanswered. It turned into almost a compulsion to reply. She didn’t seem to mind their constant conversations and even seemed to go as far as to enjoy them.

Her biggest issue with their new friendship was Peter’s “barbaric brick of a phone.” The first time Tony had heard her say it, he had loyally defended it as it was the newest model of Stark Phone and ten times more advanced than any other smart phone on the market. 

Shuri had just laughed in his face.

So, it was a happy surprise to find a package from the Wakanda Outreach Center waiting for him at the tower one day. Inside was a black beaded bracelet and a note written in a  
hurried scrawl.

_Peter,_

_Put on the bracelet and tell it to call me._

_Shuri_

Peter did as he was instructed. In the short time that he’d known Shuri, he was pretty much already conditioned to not question her. It was just assumed that she was right and/or knew about everything. It was easier on Peter to just go with whatever she told him.

His eyes widened in delight as what looked like black sand rose from the bracelet and formed the image of Shuri.

“Finally!” She exclaimed as soon as the image was completely formed. “I’ve been waiting for forever! Your postage system is almost as slow as your technology.”

“You should have seen it ten years ago.” Peter told her and grinned when she shuddered in horror. She got over his caveman ways quick enough though.

“Well?” She questioned. “What do you think? It’s my latest model, so consider yourself a beta test.”

“It’s awesome!”

Peter twisted his wrist around, trying to get a better look at it. Shuri smiled proudly once he righted the hologram.

“Of course, it is. I made it!” She looked off to the side for a moment and Peter could hear people milling around in the background. “Now this way we can talk to each other without having to text. This is much more convent for when I’m working.”

Embarrassment colored Peter’s face. He didn’t realize that he was taking up so much of her time. She had gone through all the trouble of sending him a personal hologram projector because he wouldn’t leave her alone.

“Sorry.” Peter apologized. “I’ll stop bothering you so much.”

Shuri cut her eyes back at him. “What are you talking about? You are not a bother. I don’t waste my time on things that bother me.”

Peter blinked, surprised and relieved. Shuri was one of the few people left in his life that he didn’t feel weird around. Losing her friendship was the last thing he wanted.

“Oh, o-okay. Cool.” 

Shuri’s eyebrow twitched upwards at his stuttering awkwardness into a look that unfortunately Peter was very familiar with. He’d dubbed it the “Peter Parker is a giant dork” look. He got it more often then he’d care to admit. Her version faded faster than most though.

“Tell me what you’re working on right now.” She demanded, and Peter was happy to tell her.

***

Going back to school was a huge mistake, top tier. It was probably the worst thing Peter had ever done. It was a true headliner in the hall of Peter Parker’s Terrible Decisions. 

Peter regretted everything the second he stepped on campus. He should have listened to Tony that morning. He’d practically begged Peter to take some more time off but he was already two months behind everyone else and the thought of getting any more behind broke him out in hives.

He almost backed out when he saw Ned waiting at his locker with crossed arms while he stared down at the scuffed-up tiles.

Peter stopped in the middle of the hallway and his thumb hovered over Happy’s contact before he snapped himself out of it and walked forward. Peter knew that he couldn’t hide forever. He’d made the decision to avoid Ned. He needed to face the consequences. No matter what they were.

“Hey.” Peter greeted cautiously as he walked up. Ned looked up at him with narrowed eyes. “Listen, I’m sorry I’ve kind of ghosted you lately. Well, not kind of. I did ghost you and that was sucky of me. Really sucky. I’m s-“

He was cut off by Ned pulling him into a big hug. Peter stood stock still for a shocked beat before wrapping his arms around his best friend and returning the hug. After a moment, Ned pulled back.

“It’s ok, dude.” He said. “Yeah, it did suck, and I was worried about you. But I understand.”

Peter could only nod, suddenly overwhelmed. “Thanks, man.” He finally managed to croak out.

Ned smiled brightly and slung an arm over Peter’s shoulders, leading him down the hall. “Come on, man. We’re going to be late to homeroom. I’ve got so much to fill you in on. Like, you know Betty Brant right-” 

A loud shout interrupted Ned’s story. 

“Yo, Parker!”

Peter heard Ned groan as Flash bounded up the hallway to them. 

“Parker, my man! What’s up?” Flash greeted him when he caught up to the pair and led Peter into an elaborate bro handshake hug combo. 

“Not much.” Peter answered, keeping an eye on Ned. He was half afraid that his friend was going to have a stroke. Peter didn’t like how that vein was popping out of Ned’s forehead. Flash didn’t seem to notice Ned’s mini freak out.

“I was going to text you, but Jones wouldn’t give me your new number.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry. I haven’t had it very long.” Peter said even though he was sure that Flash never had his old number either. He found himself opening a new contact and placing his phone in Flash’s out reached hand. 

He realized that he didn’t even mind the possibility of Flash texting him. Which, judging by the way Ned’s right eye kept twitching, may have been off brand for him. Weirdly, everything about Flash that annoyed Peter six months ago, didn’t bother him now. Compared to what they went through together in the soul stone, it’s like all those little things didn’t matter anymore. 

Peter still saw the look of terror on Flash’s face when he had started disappearing in the stone. It was something that would probably haunt him forever. The least Peter could do was try and be friends with the guy in normal circumstances.

Flash handed Peter back his phone, and Peter sent off a quick text so that Flash would have his number. Flash took out his buzzing phone and grinned. 

“Gotcha. Listen,” He said, slinging an arm around Peter’s shoulders and leading him down the hall. Peter glanced over his shoulder to see Ned following with a frown. “I’m having a party in a few weeks. You’re going to come, right?”

Peter didn’t want to, but it was hard to say no, even when Flash was trying, and ultimately failing, to make a successfully puppy dog look.

“I’ll ask Tony.” Peter finally said, and Flash seemed satisfied with that answer. 

“Cool. See you losers at lunch!” 

With that and a quick wave, Flash was gone, and Peter was left with a nearly catatonic Ned. He blinked into the empty space that Flash left behind then turned and blinked at Peter.

“Am I in bizarro world? What is happening?” He asked, dazed, and Peter couldn’t help but laugh. He could sympathize. He wrapped what he hoped was a comforting arm around his friend’s shoulders as they started back towards class. 

“I mean, MJ said that you guys were probably friends now, but I figured she was just messing with me.” Ned glanced sideways at him. “What happened in there, man?”

_In there_

A chill ran down Peter’s spine and the pads of his fingers went numb. He tried to push the feeling of dread that pushed against his ribs. He tried to take a deep breath.

He was fine. He was okay. He was home. 

No. That wasn’t true. Ned was right. Peter was in bizarro world.

“Peter?” Ned’s voice broke through Peter’s dread filled haze. “Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah.” Peter shook himself free enough to focus back on his friend whose cautious stare morphed into a relieved smile.

They were almost to homeroom before Peter remembered something.

“Oh, by the way.” He said, lowering his voice so no one else could hear. “Flash knows about Spider-Man.”

Ned’s shout could have been heard over in the next school district.

“WHAT?”

***

If Peter thought he was over high school before, it was nothing compared to how he felt now. A steady mantra of _what’s the point?_ ran through his head, along with a spectrum of colorful curses dropped at the slightly inconvenience. 

It wouldn’t have been so bad if the rest of the student body didn’t act like they’d rather be anywhere else either. Granted before everything that happened, no one really wanted to be at school. But this was different. Before, there was laughter and excited chatter filling the hallways. Now, though, it was almost silent between class changes. 

There was a rumor that seventy percent of that senior class had been in the soul stone. 

Due to so many students being affected and the heaps of trauma that everyone seemed to be shouldering, the administration thought it’d be a good idea to change up every senior’s schedule. They never admitted it, but the kids that had been taken were grouped together separately from the ones that stayed behind. 

Peter guessed it was so that their pitifulness didn’t rub off on the others. It meant that that he no longer had any classes with Ned and all of them with Flash and MJ. It wasn’t necessary a bad thing. It was just a reminder of something that everyone around him was encouraging to put behind him.

Going to class was a huge waste of time though. No one paid any attention or participated. They were all distracted and fidgety, like they’d come back as zombies. Even the teachers didn’t seem to want to be there. 

Peter wondered how many of them were in the stone too. 

The only bright spot of the day was lunch. Peter was reunited with Ned and then quickly joined by MJ and Flash. Which was weird, but Peter didn’t really have the heart or energy to tell Flash to beat it. 

According to MJ, Flash had been ostracized from his normal group of friends and she hung out with him because his patheticness was too annoying to watch. Which was MJ speak for she knew what he was going through and adopted him. Flash just shrugged which meant that he knew what was up.

She also told Peter that she knew that his phone wasn’t broken but if he didn’t start texting people back then she would break it.

The day dragged on and Peter could confidently say that he hadn’t learned a darned thing. By the time the last bell dismissed them, all Peter wanted to do was crawl into bed. Just the thought of going back tomorrow made him want to cry. He wasn’t even sure if patrolling would make him feel better or not.

He burst out of the school's doors with all the other eager kids ready to escape and made a beeline to the sleek black car that idled along with the rest of the cars.

“How’d your first day go, kid?” Happy asked as Peter climbed into the passenger’s seat.

“It was good.” Peter lied and hoped that Happy would believe him. Judging by the look the man shot him, he didn’t buy it.

Peter didn’t want to admit that it’d been weird. To admit that he’d a bad day felt like he had failed somehow. Like school was some test to see if Peter could act like a normal person again. He didn’t want to admit that he wasn’t sure that he’d never be able to feel like the old Peter again.

He didn’t need to make waves though. He’d be okay. He was fine. He was Spider-Man. Hell, he was an Avenger now.

Peter could handle high school. 

He hoped.

***

_The baby laid in its crib, innocently blinking up at him. She had ten little fingers and toes, a head full of dark hair, and Pepper’s bright eyes. She was easily the most beautiful thing Peter had ever seen._

_“She’s really something, huh?” Tony said, smiling, coming up from behind and joining him. He clasped a hand on Peter’s shoulder._

_Peter returned the smile easily. “Yeah, she is.”_

_He’d had reservations about the new baby but so far things hadn’t changed all that much. Sure, Tony and Pepper stayed busy, and now no one was sleeping, but it hadn’t nearly been as bad as Peter had thought it would be._

_They still all ate dinner together at nights. Tony still invited Peter down to the labs to work on whatever new project he had going on. He hadn’t been forgotten about._

_Thunder clapped loudly outside the bedroom window and the baby started crying. The air inside the room shifted as Tony leaned down to pick her up._

_It was humid. The air sat hot and heavy on Peter’s chest. He struggled to breath, but Tony didn’t seem effected. Peter finally sucked in a breath but choked on the influx of dust that suddenly filled his lungs._

_Dust was everywhere. It was in his eyes, his mouth. It covered his hair and clothes._

_White hot pain pulsed at the base of Peter’s spine then shot out over his entire body._

_“Tony,” He gasped but Tony stood just out of Peter’s grasp. He held the baby snuggly against his chest and watched, expressionless, as Peter’s feet crumbled and turned into dust._

_Peter hit the floor hard. He watched in horror as his legs went next._

_Not again. God, not again._

_“Tony, help me. Please” Peter begged as his entire bottom half drifted around the room. He was choking on it. His own ash coated his throat._

_Tony shook his head and took a step back._

_“Sorry, Pete.” He said, cradling the baby even closer. “Maybe this is for the best. There really isn’t any room for you anymore.”_

_Peter’s arm disintegrated._

_“Tony, no.” He pleaded. His body was failing but could still somehow produce tears. They streamed down his face._

_“She’s a real Stark, Pete. You’re not.”_

_“Please, please, Tony please.” Peter sobbed. He wasn’t sure what hurt worse: his body breaking down or Tony’s words._

_Both arms were now gone. Everything was gone. He was Peter anymore. He was just a floating dust pile. Somehow, he still heard Tony’s next words._

_“You’re not my real son.”_

Peter gasped awake and hit the ground. Expect it wasn’t the plush carpet of his bedroom. He was lying face down on a hard, cold, wooden floor.

Where was he?

“Peter? Are you alright?”

Peter closed his eyes, mortified. It all came back to him. 

He was on his first proper date with Gwen since he’d been back. It was supposed to be a chill night of old movies at her place. It was a miracle that she agreed to the date considering they’d barely talked in the past two months. 

It was an even bigger miracle that he’d managed to fall asleep.

“Sorry.” Peter picked himself up and faced Gwen. She looked him up and down, searchingly. “I’m okay, I swear.”

Her shoulders slumped a bit with relief and she pulled Peter into a tight hug. When she pulled back she gave him a smile. 

“You scared me.” She said, guiding him back down to the couch. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Peter shook his head. “Not really.” 

Gwen looked at him like she wanted to say something but didn’t. Peter just concentrated on slowing his racing heart. It pounded against his rib cage. It was so loud, he wondered if Gwen could hear it.

Peter’s hand shook with fading adrenaline. The picture of Tony stepping away from him, of Tony choosing the baby over him, wasn’t going away. Peter wasn’t sure that he could forget that anytime soon. 

Gwen let Peter stew for a few moments before she took his now steady hand.

“Peter,” She started and Peter internally cringed. She was using her _I have something important to say and you should listen to me_ voice. “I think you should go talk to someone. A therapist maybe?”

Peter took back his hand quickly. They both started shaking again. Frustration hummed behind his sternum.

Gwen looked hurt for a split second but then her face set into a resolved expression. 

“There’s no shame in it, Peter.” She tried to reason. 

Peter fumed. How dare her. She had no idea. She had no clue. Therapy wasn’t going to fix him. Not this time. He was screwed up big time. It wouldn’t be that easy.

“I mean, if you’re still having nightmares this bad about it then I think you should get some help.” 

“It’s only been two months.” Peter snapped. He stood up and paced to the other side of the room, trying to put as much distance between them as possible. 

“I know.” Gwen said softy. He heard her cautiously stand too and walk towards him. He angled himself away from her, so she couldn’t see the tears that had sprung up. 

“You don’t.” He said thickly. His flexed his hand in an effort to wake up the fingers that had gone numb. “You have no idea.”

It was true. Gwen hadn’t turned into a heap of dust. She didn’t have to watch them drift away. She wasn’t trapped in some orange hellscape, never knowing for sure if her father was still alive. Or if she’d ever get to go home; see her family and friends again. 

She didn’t cheat on him.

Like a flip of a switch, all of Peter’s anger drained out of him and was replaced with bone crushing guilt.

He’d cheated on her. He kissed MJ even though he knew that Gwen was out there waiting on him. He hadn’t cared. 

And here she was trying to help him, and he didn’t respect her enough to stay faithful.

Peter turned back to her and quickly wiped away the tear that had escaped. He wasn’t fast enough. Gwen saw and caught the next one.

“It’s okay, Peter.” She said and gently kissed his cheek. Peter closed his eyes and let himself enjoy it one last time. “I shouldn’t have brought it up. I’m sorry.”

Peter shook his head. “No, don’t apologize. I’m sorry.”

Gwen frowned. “For what?”

Peter took a deep breath. He had to do this. He had to face the consequences of his actions.

“I cheated on you.” 

Gwen’s brow drew together in confusion and then hurt. Peter kept talking before she could say anything.

“In the soul stone, I kissed someone else. I’m sorry.” 

Gwen stepped back from him. “Peter, what,”

Peter had to look away. He couldn’t handle the hurt look in her eyes. The betrayal. 

“I can’t keep doing this.” He said, moving around her and grabbing his bag off the floor. He headed towards the door. “We should break up. I’m sorry.” 

Peter reached the front door right as Gwen called out for him.

“Peter, wait!”

He closed the door behind him just as Happy pulled up the curb. The car was barely in park when Peter opened the door and threw himself in. He ignored the strange look that Happy gave him.

“You okay, kid?” 

“Yeah, let’s just go.”

Happy’s eyes flittered back from Peter to the brownstone’s door, where Peter knew Gwen was standing. The man hesitated for a moment before nodding.

Happy let the silence sit for a few miles before he spoke. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Peter turned into the door and pretended to settle down to sleep.

“Not really.”

***

His friendship with Shuri was one of the few normal things in Peter’s life. Well, as normal as having a super genius Wakandan princess as a friend could be. 

When they talked, it was like Peter was a regular teenager. It was the only part of his life that wasn’t touched by the baby or the soul stone. It was normal.  
Until it wasn’t.

“So,” Shuri said as they both worked in their respective labs. They liked bouncing ideas off each other, even if what Shuri was working on was always more advanced then Peter’s projects. “How are you handling coming back from the dead?”

She said it so nonchalantly, that it took Peter’s brain a minute to comprehend what she had said. When it clicked, he startled so badly that the screwdriver slipped from the web shooter he was tinkering with and nicked his thumb. He cursed and popped the digit in his mouth.

Shuri made a disgusted sound but still sounded concerned. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah.” Peter grunted around his thumb. He pulled it out of his mouth and help it up to the hologram. The skin had already knitted back together. “See? Already healed.”

“That’s incredible!” She marveled. “You need to come out to California, so I run some tests.”

“Sure.” Peter agreed. Getting his super healing tested on didn’t sound like a fun time to him but if it got her mind off anything involving the soul stone then he’d agree to be a guinea pig.

No such luck though.

“You didn’t answer my question, by the way. Don’t think I forgot.” Shuri chided. “T’Challa is still struggling. He even started seeing a therapist.”

Peter pushed aside the web shooter, no longer in the mood to work on it.

What was it with everyone and therapy? Where they all working together to get him to go back or something?

“He probably doesn’t want you to share that with everyone.”

Shuri looked up at the change of his tone with narrowed eyes. 

“He should not tell other people then. Besides, he told Tony, so I doubt that he would have a problem with you knowing.”

“Still.” Peter mumbled and Shuri rolled her eyes.

“Still,” She mocked with a teasing smirk. “Seriously though, Peter. Tony mentioned to T’Challa that you’re having a difficult time. Maybe you would benefit from therapy as well.”

“I don’t need therapy and I don’t need your help.” Peter snapped. He stood up abruptly, pushing away from the table, his chair scraping across the floor. 

“Excuse me?” Shuri looked shocked.

“Why don’t you mind your own business and worry about yourself?”

With that, Peter ended the transmission and tossed the beads across the table. That felt good, so he threw the screwdriver too then a wretch when that made him feel even better. 

He was two seconds away from throwing the chair when shame hit him like a truck. He just single handedly ruined his one normal friendship. It knocked the wind out of him and his knees collapsed

He landed on the floor and cried for a long time.

Peter stayed on the floor for a while after his fit ended. He sat there until Tony walked in hours later.

“Hey, kid.” Tony greeted, his eyes sweeping around the room and taking stock of the mess Peter had made. “What’s going on?”

Peter sniffed and settled on telling him a half truth. “I was working on my web shooters but got frustrated and stopped.” 

Tony nodded. Peter wondered how long it would take for Shuri to tell her brother what happened and then tell Tony. 

“That’s alright. Happens to the best of us.” Tony said and offered Peter a hand. Peter took it and heaved himself off the ground.

“You hungry?” Tony asked, already leading him out of the lab. “How’s pizza sound?”

“Sounds great.” Peter said, even though he wasn’t the least bit hungry.

***

Peter couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment where he totally and completely lost control of his life. 

But if he had to wager a guess, he’d say it was likely on that Thursday night which marked day four of no sleep.

The no sleep thing was also probably why he had thought it was a good idea to go patrolling and ended up with a knife jammed in his side.

In his defense, Peter didn’t actively make the decision to get stabbed. It just kind of happened. Apparently, lack of sleep dulled a person’s senses. Including his usually helpful Spidey Sense. 

It had stayed quiet while the second mugger that Peter didn’t know was lurking around, crept up on him while he was busy with his friend.

That left Peter alone in a dirty Midtown back alley with a knife between his ribs. 

The ringing in Peter’s ears left only after he yanked out the offending knife, like Excalibur from its stone. That’s also when he could hear Karen franticly telling to not pull out the knife, King Arthur style.

“Well, shit.” Peter muttered as blood dripped down his side and splattered onto the concrete. 

“Peter,” The AI sounded worried. “If you don’t slow down the bleeding then you will bleed out before you get home.” She paused for a second. “Calling Tony Stark.”

“Don’t!” Peter yelped. “Don’t call him. I’ll fix it.”

He sprayed some webbing over the gash and hissed when the dull ache morphed into a fiery pain. He moaned through a harsh wave of pain but was able to stand up on his own.

“There.” Peter panted out. “How does it look?”

“The webbing has slowed the bleeding some.” Karen said, but didn’t sound too enthused about his field medic skills. “You still need medical attention as soon as possible.”

“Gotcha, Kar. Heading that way.”

Peter took a step forward and his knees immediately buckled. He stuck a hand to the brick, anchoring him through the dizzy spell that overtook him. As soon as it passed, Karen was right back in his ear.

“You need assistance, Peter.” Her tone held no room for agreement. “Calling Tony Stark.”

“Karen, mute.” 

The dial tone stopped as quickly as it started. Peter felt bad about muting Karen, but he knew that Tony would kill him if he knew that Peter got stabbed. He could handle this. All he needed was to make back to the tower and stich himself up before he bled to death.

Simple.

Scaling the brick wall wasn’t difficult. It was easy to ignore the pull of his side as he climbed higher. He made it to the roof top without much issue.

Swinging though. Well, that was another matter.

Peter couldn’t help the scream that ripped from him as the web pulled taunt and swung him upwards. It was one of the worst pains that Peter had ever felt. It was like his side was being ripped in two with each swing.

He nearly cried when he felt warmth flood his side and he realized that he had bled through his makeshift bandage. 

Peter blacked out somewhere along the way and came back into himself as he stumbled through the open living room window of the tower. He braced himself against the window pane, distantly aware of the bloody handprints that he left behind.

It wasn’t even a full minute later before Tony’s voice came floating in from the hallway.

“Peter?” Tony called out. “You okay? Karen said something happened on-“

Peter watched with blurry vision as Tony rounded the corner then stopped dead in his tracks when he got his first good look at Peter slumped up against the window and bleeding everywhere. Peter tried to make the effort to look less of a mess as Tony rushed forward towards him.

He got as far as unfurling his arm from around his side and attempting a step before collapsing into Tony’s arms. 

“What the hell happened?” 

Peter winced. That was Tony’s panicking voice and nothing good came from Tony freaking out. If Tony freaked out, then Peter would, and he wanted to avoid that if possible.

Despite Tony’s apparent panic, he gently lowered Peter to the ground. He poked around Peter’s side, frowning when he pressed the wound, causing Peter to cry out. He picked lightly at the webbing, try to get it off.

“What are we looking at, kid?”

“Got stabbed.” Peter gasped around another flare of pain.

“FRIDAY,” Tony barked. “Get Bruce to med bay. Let him know what’s going on.” 

“On it, boss.” 

Tony lifted dead lifted Peter off the floor and carried him towards the elevator. 

Peter remembered slurring, “How’d you do that?”, and then the next thing he knew he was blinking up at the white med bay ceiling, laid out on a bed in just his Captain America boxers and Bruce stitching up his side.

Peter blinked heavily at the doctor, feeling like he was moving in slow motion. Everything was blurry. Thoughts passed through his head, slow as molasses, but when Peter tried to grasp one it slipped by him.

Bruce glanced up from his professional cross stich and gave a comforting smile when he noticed Peter watching him.

“Hey, Peter. You back with us?”

“Didn’t know I left.” Even his words felt thick, like he was talking around a mouthful of syrup.

Bruce’s eyebrow twitched as he went back to work. 

“Yeah, you checked out on us for a few minutes.”

Peter looked around the room but couldn’t see much from the angle he was laying at. He tried to sit up but was stopped by Bruce. “Where’s Tony?”

“I’m right here.” The man himself answered, as if Peter had summoned him. 

Peter watched as Tony placed a pair of sweatpants and a shirt on the table next to them. Then he placed a hand on Peter’s shoulder, gently pinning him back to the mattress. 

“How do you feel?” Tony asked, moving his hand from Peter’s shoulder to his hair.

“Weird.” Peter mumbled and Tony chuckled a bit.

“Yeah, Bruce hooked you up with the good stuff.”

Peter nodded slowly. “That checks out.”

Tony snorted but his good mood vanished as Bruce finished the last stich. 

“Peter,” Bruce started, almost cautiously. “When was the last time you slept?”

Tony gave Bruce a look that Peter was too tired to try and decode but then turned to Peter too, waiting for an answer. 

“Pete?” He prompted when Peter didn’t answer.

“Uh,” Peter squirmed. He really didn’t want to have this conversation but there was nowhere to run. “Sunday night?”

The hand that Tony had in his hair, stilled then twitched. 

“Is that a statement or a question?” Tony asked, his voice tight.

Peter closed his eyes. He didn’t want to see Tony’s reaction.

“Statement.”

Tony cursed. His hand went away, and Peter instantly wished for it back, but Tony was already out of sight. Bruce stayed close though and apparently had more questions.

“When was the last time you ate anything, Pete?”

Yeah, Tony wasn’t going to like that answer either.

“Dinner last night.”

Across the room, Tony let out another colorful curse and Peter cringed. Bruce just calmly hummed and nodded like he had expected Peter to say that.

“That explains your blood sugar and vitals.”

Bruce stepped away and quickly returned with a small bottle of orange juice. He opened it then pushed it into Peter’s hands. 

“Drink as much of this as you can, then you need to try and get some sleep.”

Peter managed to choke down a few sips before Tony came pacing back to his bedside. His hair was tousled and sticking up in places, like he’d been raking his hands through them. His mouth was set in a pinched frown. He didn’t say anything until Peter made the mistake of looking him in the eye.

Peter flinched back from the anger he found in them.

“This is got to stop, Peter.” Tony told him, sounding strained. “We can’t do this again. I thought we were over this.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose.” Peter snapped, tired frustration bubbling up in his chest.

“It doesn’t matter whether you did or not, Peter.” Tony shot back. He grabbed his left wrist tightly. “There’s too much going on right now and I’m not going to let you self-destruct.” 

Peter shook his head. Why was Tony acting like he choose to not sleep or eat? Trust him that was all he wanted to do. He wanted nothing more then to have a big appetite, pig out, then sleep for twelve hours straight. 

“I’m not doing it on purpose.” Peter said again, voice raising. 

“I don’t care, Peter!” Tony shouted. “This has got to stop. I can’t handle you acting out and this baby that’s on the way!”

Peter flinched back, Tony’s words hitting him like a slap across the face. Actually, Peter thought a physical slap would have hurt less. Peter watched, detached almost, as Tony blinked back his anger and he realized what he said.

“Peter-“He started, regret coloring his tone. “I’m sorry. I didn’t-“

Peter shook his head again, cutting him off. He tried to shallow down the lump that formed in his throat. He wasn’t going to cry. He wasn’t.

“It’s fine.” Peter said curtly. He had to get out of there. He needed to get away from them. He was quickly losing fight against the tears that were pooling in his eyes. 

“I’ll sort myself out,” He continued, getting up off the bed. Bruce tried to lay him back down but Peter shrugged his hands away. “You won’t have to worry about me anymore once the baby gets here.”

Tony paled. “What does that mean, Peter?” 

Peter rolled his eyes, grabbing hold of the anger that bubbled hotter at Tony’s implication. Anger was easier to feel then the pain that laid right underneath it.

“It means that I’ll be eighteen soon and you’re only have one baby to worry about. I’ll get my own place and stay out of your hair.”

“That’s not what I meant, Peter, and you know it.” Tony huffed, still massaging his left arm.

Peter’s anger spiked and he went along with it.

“Then you wouldn’t have said it!” He shouted. He found himself toe to toe with Tony and hated the inches of height that the older man had on him. “If I knew I was such a burden then I would have stayed in the stone.”

“What?”

“I felt so bad because I thought I was betraying you and Pepper. If I had known-” An involuntary sniffle surprised Peter and he couldn’t stop the tears that started dripping down his face. “If I knew I was going to come back and make everything worse then I would have stayed with them.”

“That’s not what I meant, Pete.” Tony sighed and pinched the space between his eyes, shaking his head. Then he lifted his head, frowning. “Who are you talking about?”

Panic started to creep up on Peter’s anger sadness emotion cocktail. They hadn’t talked about this. Peter had had plans of never, ever bringing this up with Tony. 

But Tony wasn’t going to let it go.

“Peter,” He said slowly, taking a step forward and Peter took one back. “Who are you talking about?”

“The stone.” Peter finally answered, feeling trapped. His heart was racing. “They-it kept me because you used the gauntlet. It said that it was the price that you had to pay. The- It sent me back because it felt bad for me, I guess.”

Tony turned white as a sheet.

“Pete, I’m sorry.” He said haltingly. “I didn’t- I wasn’t even supposed to use it. I-“

If Tony said anything else, Peter didn’t hear it. Static rushed through his body so quickly that he keeled over with a wheeze. His lungs refused to bring in any air. He choked. Tony didn’t have to use the gauntlet. He didn’t have to pay the price. Peter didn’t have to be trapped with that thing that wore May and Ben’s faces. 

Awareness came back with ragged inhale. He was on the floor. He desperately shook off the hands that were touching his arms, his face, and calling his name. 

“Don’t touch me.” Peter said as forcefully as he could and the hands retreated. When he slowly sat up Bruce was beside him, saying something that wouldn’t compute and Tony was keeled in front of him, eyes wide and spooked. 

“You didn’t have to use it?” Peter questioned, hoarsely, and watched as Tony shook his head. 

“It wasn’t the plan, no.” He said, his voice barely calmer then his demeanor.

Peter’s head buzzed. 

“I was stuck there with them for so long when I didn’t even have to be. If you’d just stuck with the plan then I wouldn’t have had to.” 

Tony leaned back onto his heels, temper flaring again. “I was trying to save you, Peter. That’s all I thought about when I grabbed the stupid thing was saving you.” 

Peter’s breaths came out harshly. He tugged at his hair, avoiding Tony’s eyes. Panic flooded his veins. 

He needed to get out. He needed to leave. He couldn’t be here.

“I’m not going to apologize for wanting to save you, Pete.”

Peter’s next exhale came out as a low whine. 

“You made it worse. It was horrible. I thought it was them.”

“Peter, who are you talking about?”

“Tony, I think you should leave.” Bruce cut in before Peter had an opportunity to answer.

“I think you should mind your own business.” Tony snapped at the other man but Bruce didn’t back down.

“If he rips his stiches then it is my business.” Bruce shot right back but then added more calmly, “You two can have this discussion later.” 

Tony looked back to Peter. “Peter, I was just trying to do what I thought was best-“

Peter couldn’t hear the rest. He couldn’t do this. He squeezed his eyes shut.

“Just go.” He told Tony, quietly but sensed Tony flinch back as if Peter had shouted. “Please.” 

Tony was silent for a long time then Peter finally heard him stand. “Alright, okay.”

Peter didn’t get up off the floor until long after he heard the door close behind Tony. Bruce was still sitting beside him when he opened his eyes. All the panicked fervor drained from him and left him shaky and tired. 

“Are you alright?” Bruce asked. 

“No.” Peter said honestly. 

Bruce just nodded and picked Peter up off the floor. He help Peter into the clothes that Tony had left for him.

“You really need to eat something then get some sleep if you can.” He said when Peter was dressed. “Would you rather hang out here or go to your room?”

“My room.” Was Peter’s immediate response. He didn’t want to run into Tony again so soon but the siren song of his own bed was too strong to resist. 

“Do you want me to help you there?” Bruce kindly offered and Peter agreed. His ego had already taken a massive hit anyways, he might as well take advantage of a possible buffer between him and Tony.

When they got to the penthouse, Bruce shooed Peter off to his room and told him that he’d make him a snack. Peter ignored the hushed whispers that came from Tony and Pepper’s closed bedroom as he passed by and kept walking. He made it to his bed and passed out.

***

Peter woke up sometime later feeling like he’d got hit by several consecutive trucks. He was greeted by a plate of food and a note on his bedside table. He munched on the sandwich as he read Pepper’s flowing cursive.

_Peter,_

_Tony and I had some unexpected SI meetings to take care of, but we’ll be back for dinner. If you want us to bring back anything special to eat, text us._

_Love you!_

Peter put down the unfinished sandwich then rolled over and went back to sleep.

***

It was dark out when Peter woke up again. He didn’t feel anymore rested but it was like now that his body remembered how to sleep it couldn’t get enough. He laid there and dozed for a while until he convinced himself to get up and take a shower.

He turned on the water as hot as it would get and it rinse away all the blood and sweat and grime he was covered in. The stab wound was now just a slim sliver scar. Peter doubted that it would last the week before it disappeared completely. 

He wished that his and Tony’s fight could be forgotten about that easily.

Peter took his time drying off and getting dressed. He strained his hearing to try and see if Tony was waiting outside, ready to have that inevitable conversation but couldn’t tell. He steeled himself regardless. He took a deep breath and opened the door to find-

Nothing. 

There was no Tony sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting. No Tony pacing the length of the room. Or angrily standing just outside the bathroom door. Peter blinked away the disappointment that unexpectedly popped up within him. Oh well. He hadn’t wanted to talk to Tony anyways. So he got what he wanted.

The only things waiting for him were BB and a message from FRIDAY.

“Peter, Mrs. Boss said to let you know that Boss was still out on business, but that she is home with dinner, whenever you’re hungry.”

“Business” meant “avoiding Peter”.

Dread washed away any linger appetite that Peter had and set him back on edge. 

Tony didn’t even want to come home and be around him. 

Peter didn’t know what to do with the whirlwind of emotions that came with that. He did know that he didn’t want to subject Pepper to it though. 

BB bumped into his ankles, with a concerned beep and Peter picked him up, hugging the bot tightly. BB didn’t act like he cared that Peter was crying all over him. He just hummed, contented, as Peter crawled with him under the covers and curled around him until he fell back asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all could have gotten this Friday if Daredevil hadn't come out and monopolized all my time at night.
> 
> THANKS MARVEL
> 
> No, seriously, thanks Marvel. I'm a slut for Matt Murdock and so far season three is *chef's kiss* perfect. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank y'all for all the comments, kudos, and support. <3

**Author's Note:**

> Look, ma, It's a sequel! 
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy! :)


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